


Sacrifice to a Greater Cause

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drama, First Times, M/M, Other: See Story Notes, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-07-10
Updated: 1999-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 02:52:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone is trying to kill Jim and the guys discover the danger comes from an unlikely source.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
Due to length, this story has been split into two parts.

## Sacrifice to a Greater Cause

by Mia Athlas

Disclaimer: The characters used here, sadly, do not belong to me. They are the property of Pet Fly and UPN. I have received no monetary reward, I do it simply for fun. 

Contains m/m sex. If you are under 18, do not read this. 

* * *

Sacrifice to a Greater Cause - part one  
by Mia Athlas 

"I just couldn't believe it when he hit on me, man. I was like _so_ blown away. I never even considered that he might be gay. If ever there was a guy I thought would be straight..." 

Jim half tuned Blair out as the young man went through all the reasons he assumed the professor at Rainier was straight. If he only knew. Jim sighed. Blair had turned the man down, of course. One more reason never to let his partner know how he felt. Jim touched Blair's arm, ignoring the shock he felt at the light touch, and pointed him in the direction of the truck. It seemed as if an electric charge went through him each time he touched his partner. It was an attraction like he'd never felt before. 

Blair grinned, oblivious to Jim's inner turmoil, and after a brief, "oh yeah," changed his direction then continued his monologue. 

Jim went to his side of the truck and put the key in the lock. After unlocking the door, he lifted the door handle -- and promptly froze. 

* * *

"Just goes to show you that you can never tell, man," Blair finished. Realising that Jim hadn't let him in, he stared over the truck at the older man. The sentinel stood, unmoving. Curious. "Sometime today would be nice, Jim," he said nodding toward the still locked door. 

"Sandburg," Jim responded sharply. "I think something's wrong here." 

Blair came around the truck and looked at his partner, trying to figure out the problem. Jim was standing completely still with the door handle raised. "What's up, man?" Blair asked. 

"I think I heard an extra click when I lifted the handle." Jim was so in tune with the quirks and noises of the old truck, it only made sense that he would notice the abnormal noise immediately. 

"An extra click? As in?" Blair asked, not quite understanding. 

"As in 'I don't know' but the way our luck runs, I don't want to take any chances. How 'bout you take a look and see if you find anything?" 

Blair examined the area around Jim and peered into the truck's interior. "Anything like what?" 

"Anything that could house an explosive device," Jim answered quietly. 

"A bomb!" Blair picked up his pace. Lying down beside Jim's feet, he spotted it just behind the front wheel of the car. "Shit," he swore. Scrabbling out from under the vehicle, he looked at his partner. "God, Jim...there's a bomb," he sputtered. 

"Sandburg. Sandburg!" Jim said again to his panicked friend. "Calm down, Chief. Is there a timer?" 

Blair shook his head. "I didn't see one." 

"Good, this is probably set off by a trigger, maybe the release of this handle." 

"Seems like quite an assumption, Jim. Are you sure?" Blair asked nervously. 

"No, I'm not sure," Jim responded in irritation. "Go tell Simon...and find Taggart." The sentinel cursed the fact that his cell phone was sitting back at the precinct on his desk where he had forgotten it. 

Blair turned away then turned back. "But what if...?" He didn't finish the sentence, too afraid to voice his fear that he could return too late. 

Jim knew what he meant. What if it really was by timer and he was dead by the time the young man got help. "Then standing around talking about it isn't going to change anything." 'And I need you away from here,' he added silently. 

"Okay, Jim. Listen, man, I..." Blair looked at a loss at how to express himself. 

Jim smiled briefly. "Me too, Chief...now get going." 

Blair grinned, then the worried expression returned and deepened as he turned away and ran toward the police station. 

Starring after him, Jim wondered if he had just lost his last opportunity to tell the young man how he felt. 

* * *

Within five minutes, Blair was back with Simon by his side. 

Nodding to Jim, the captain dropped down for a look at the bomb. After a minute, he stood back up and brushed off his pants, finally speaking. "Taggart's on the way. He should be here in about five minutes--so should the bomb squad. The kid's right, there doesn't seem to be a timer. Looks like it's trigger-activated to me." 

Jim nodded, relieved to have his suspicions confirmed. He felt Blair on his other side. "Sandburg, get the hell back!" he growled at the younger man. 

"No way, Jim. I want to help." Blair put his hand on his partner's unoccupied arm. 

"Listen, Chief, there's nothing you can do to help. The only thing you can possibly accomplish here is go get blown to bits with me if this thing should happen to go off." 

"Okay," the young man whispered only for Jim's ears and held his arm harder. 

Jim swallowed, his mind fighting to decipher the meaning of that single word. Just what was Blair agreeing to? Getting back...or joining him in getting blown to bits? Fear for the young man made Jim turn to his captain. "Simon?" he asked, nodding toward his partner. 

Simon grabbed Blair's arm. "Come on, Sandburg. The bomb squad's here and you'll only get in their way." 

"Fine," Blair finally agreed, seeing no choice. "Be careful," he said to Jim and with one last squeeze of the sentinel's arm, he allowed Simon to lead him to the other side of the street. 

Once there, Blair could only watch nervously as Taggart and the bomb squad went to work. 

* * *

After a few tense minutes, the bomb was safely nestled into the squad's containment unit. Blair let out the breath he hadn't realised he was holding and headed back over to Jim. 

Taggart was talking animatedly with Jim as Blair approached. "I'd still like to know how you could have heard the bomb arm itself?" 

"I just had a feeling, Joel. Lucky for me," Jim responded. Taggart got called away and the sentinel headed for the station, feeling his partner fall into step beside him. The young man immediately started talking. 

"You okay, man?" Blair asked, touching Jim's arm briefly as they walked. 

"Yeah, Sandburg, I'm fine. I'm just really pissed that someone tried to blow up my truck." Jim spoke through clenched teeth, his posture stiff as he strode into the station house. 

"Yeah man, you and me I can understand...but to go after the truck like that...unforgivable!" 

After a beat, Jim snorted in what Blair took for amusement at his lame joke and the tension in his body eased a bit. 

The moment they entered major crimes they were surrounded by their fellow officers. Making their way to the captain's office was slowed by a flood of shoulder pats, handshakes and declarations of happiness over their safety. By the time they reached Simon's office, Blair was overwhelmed by the support. Though silent, he could tell it had affected Jim as well. 

"Wow! That was intense," Blair said with a huge smile. 

The sentinel spared a half grin before turning serious again. "No one wants to see a fellow officer taken down." 

"I think it's more than that, Jim. These people care about what happens to us...the real us...not just the badge." 

"Yeah," Jim did smile then. "Good job it's not just the badge, Sandburg. If it was you'd be out of luck." 

Blair chuckled and patted Jim on the back, happy to see his partner shaking off the stress of the last few minutes. They sat and waited for Simon to arrive. 

The captain burst into the office a couple of minutes later. Raising his eyebrows slightly at their not-yet-requested presence, he sat down behind his desk and clamped an unlit cigar between his teeth. 

"Here we go again," he stated. "What have we got so far?" 

Jim began. "Someone obviously want to see either me or Sandburg dead...or both of us. Probably me, considering the placement of the bomb and the fact that it was my truck that was rigged. Reasons unknown. No suspects. That's it, Sir." 

Simon sighed. "I knew all that, Jim. I had hoped that someone would spring to mind right away?" 

Jim shook his head. "Sorry, Simon. I can't think of anyone at the moment. I'm not working any high profile cases right now. I'm not aware of any of my old collars getting out of jail. I'm at a loss." 

Simon paused for a moment then continued. "Get to work on anyone who may be out that you don't know about. Maybe there was a screw-up and we weren't informed. Also, check on all your current cases. Maybe we're missing something here. You've got Megan, Rafe and Brown on this. I can't believe whoever this was, has the nerve to put a bomb in your truck right outside the police station." Simon removed his glasses and rubbed his face. When he looked up he seemed surprised that they were still there. "Well, get to work!" 

"Yes, Sir," Jim said as he stood, pulling Blair up with him. 

"And Jim," the captain added before they could leave. "Be careful and take Brown and Rafe with you, to escort you home, when you leave. I'll station someone outside the loft tonight." 

Jim grimaced but nodded. "Yes, Sir." 

* * *

Three hours later they were no closer to an answer. It seemed that anyone with enough cause to want to see him dead was in jail, out of the state, dead themselves or had an alibi. Jim sighed in exasperation as he considered and discarded yet another possibility. Between the five of them they had made short work of his last three years of cases. All known possibilities had been eliminated one way or another. Now they were diving into his time in Vice. A time in his life that Jim definitely would rather let lie. He leaned back in his chair, rubbing his face tiredly. It was obvious now that whoever was out to get him wouldn't be easy to find. Jim looked over at his partner, working behind the computer. The young man had his glasses on and such an intense look of concentration on his face that it made Jim smile. It was a good feeling to know that his friends cared so much for him, especially Sandburg. 

"Coffee, Chief?" 

Blair jumped slightly as he spoke. Jim frowned, at how wound up his partner was, but didn't say anything. Blushing at his own nervousness, the young man smiled, then nodded at Jim briefly before returning to his computer search. 

When Jim returned with two steaming mugs, he caught Blair in a huge yawn. Setting the coffee down on the desk, he put his hand on his partner's shoulder. "Listen, Chief, why don't you head back to the loft and get some sleep." 

"No, Jim. I want to help," Blair protested. 

Jim looked down into his friend's blood shot eyes and tired face. "No, Blair. I know you went on that stakeout with me last night, then to class after what...two hours of sleep? It's eleven thirty at night and you have a class in the morning. You need to get some sleep before you fall over. You'll feel more alert in the morning. Maybe you can think of something, after you get some rest, that you would've missed half asleep." 

Blair looked ready to continue to protest but Jim squeezed his shoulder and continued. "Do this for me, okay, Chief?" 

The young man pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Okay, Jim. I know you're right. I'm no good like this." The sad tone in Blair's voice got Jim's attention. 

"Come on, Sandburg. I expect you back here right after your class tomorrow. No one else knows as much about me as you. I'm counting on you to remember all those pesky details about the families of the people I've sent to jail in the last two years. Maybe you can come up with a reason someone would want me dead." 

Blair smiled, knowing that Jim was trying to make him feel better, and feeling better despite himself. He hated to leave Jim but he also knew that his partner was right. "Okay, man. Are you coming?" 

"No, I think I'll be here most of the night. I slept late after the stakeout, so I'm fine. I'll get Rafe to run you home and let Simon know we'll need that guard now." 

Blair nodded and packed up his stuff while Jim made the arrangements. An hour later, he was home in bed, trying to relax enough to sleep. 

* * *

An hour after he sent Blair home without him, Jim began to feel uneasy. His mind kept returning to Lash and to Alex. Both times Jim had left his partner alone and both times he had been hurt. The sentinel stood and paced in front of his desk. Maybe he should go home, just to be on the safe side. 

"Jim!" Simon bellowed from his office, startling the detective out of his thoughts. "Go home." 

"But Simon..." he began, not wanting to leave while others stayed and worked. 

Simon walked over and grabbed Jim's jacket, handing it to him, and held up his hand to stop the sentinel's words. "You were almost blown up today...go home. We'll figure this out tomorrow. You aren't getting anything accomplished by pacing and worrying about the kid anyway." Simon smiled at Jim's shocked look. "It's obvious, Jim... well to me anyway. Go home," he said quietly. Jim nodded. 

"Brown, take Ellison here back to the loft, then go home and get some rest yourself. It's going to be a long day tomorrow ladies and gentlemen. Let's all go home and get some sleep, I'll expect everyone back here at seven a.m. sharp." 

The officers filed out, leaving only the regular night shift behind. Now that he was heading back to his partner, Jim relaxed and let his mind return to the case for the duration of the drive. 

Once home, he thanked Brown and jogged up the stairs to the loft, alert for danger but his mind still occupied with tracing the last month of his time. Something must have happened to cause his attempted murder. He opened the loft door and automatically walked over to Blair's bedroom to check on the young man. He peered into an empty room. Opening his senses up a bit, he was immediately able to tag his partner...upstairs? Shrugging out of his jacket, Jim crept up the stairs quietly. From Blair's deep breathing, he could tell the young man was fast asleep. 

Jim's breath caught in his throat as he reached the top of the stairs. Blair was sleeping in his bed. He was lying on top of the covers with an afghan pulled over him. The blanket had crept down till it covered him only from the waist down. Lying on his back with his hair spread out over Jim's pillow, he looked incredible. The sentinel longed to cross over to the young man, and touch his exposed chest. Instead, he stayed where he was, watching the young man sleep for a time. So peaceful. He was so young and beautiful Jim felt a twinge of remorse. How could he ever expect Blair to want him? The older man was content to take whatever his guide could offer. If it was to be only friendship, Jim could accept that. It was more than he ever had before. It was obvious that the young man cared deeply for him. The thought warmed the sentinel. 

"I love you, Blair," he whispered, glad that he could say it out loud and still not have to deal with the consequences. Jim gazed longingly at his partner as he prepared for bed. Once ready, he wasn't sure what he should do. The safe choice was to go downstairs and take over Blair's bed for the night, or to wake the young man and ask him to go. 

No. He didn't have the heart to disturb his partner. 

Before he could stop and consider what he was doing, Jim was crossing to the bed. He nudged Blair over to the side gently and worked the blankets and sheets down until he could draw them over the young man. Blair moved and said something unintelligible but didn't wake up. After making sure his partner was sleeping soundly, Jim climbed under the covers himself. 

The sentinel could feel the heat coming off the body of his guide and closed his eyes, trying to resist the urge to roll over and take him in his arms. He stayed like that for a minute before giving up. He didn't bring Blair to his bed. The young man had come there of his own free will. If in sleep, he just happened to put his arms around Blair, what could he do about it? In the morning he could always pretend he thought that Blair was someone else. That decided, Jim rolled over onto his side and adjusted Blair's position so that the young man was facing away from him and spooned up behind him. 

He fitted his body to Blair's and wrapped his arms around him loosely. Nose buried in his partner's hair, Jim felt himself drifting off. Peace. This must be what peace felt like. Jim snuggled Blair closer to him and drifted off. 

* * *

Blair came awake slowly, a feeling of contentment encompassing him. He tried to stretch but found that he was restrained. Oddly, it didn't worry him. He opened his eyes and stared in surprise at the muscular arms that surrounded him. Turning his head, he identified the source of the arms. Jim? 

Blair smiled and brought his own arms up to clasp his partner's lightly. Jim's body pressed against his back, warming him. It felt incredible. He had never been one to cuddle in bed before with the many women he had dated, but this...this felt...perfect. Blair ran his hands along the Jim's muscular arms, not willing to waste a golden opportunity to touch his partner. 

Behind him, the older man stirred and Blair immediately stopped the caress. 

"Sandburg?" Jim asked sleepily in his ear. 

Blair was just about to answer when Jim's body stiffened and he pulled away abruptly. Blair shivered at the sudden loss of body heat. The sentinel jumped from the bed and ran his hand over his short hair nervously. 

"Sorry, Sandburg." 

Blair stood and looked over at his partner, the bed between them. "Hey, no problem, Jim. Nothing like my own human electric blanket." He shrugged like it was nothing, trying to put the older man at ease. 

Inside he was drooling. Jim was standing there in his black silk boxers. His partner had gotten into bed with him the night before in those wonderful black boxers and he had slept through the entire thing. Blair felt like crying, or at least grabbing the older man and taking him right where he stood. 

"Okay," Jim smiled thankfully. "What were you doing in my bed anyway, Chief?" 

Blair blushed. "I was, well... I was feeling kind of exposed on the ground floor. You know, I kept thinking someone would come through my window when I was sleeping or something. I thought the second floor would be... ummm... safer." Blair winced as the words left his mouth. Sure, Sandburg, let him think you're an idiot... that's _so_ much better than him thinking you missed him or something. 

Jim looked at him oddly. "Uh, okay, Sandburg. Whatever you say." 

"Okay then," Blair said cheerfully. "How about some breakfast? I'm cooking." 

After looking at the clock, Jim shook his head. "No can do, Chief. Rafe and Brown should be her to escort me to the PD in about..." He was interrupted by a loud pounding on the door, "...now." 

"Great," Blair groaned, as he headed for the stairs. 

After letting in the two officers, Blair went to his room to quickly change and call the University to say he wouldn't be in... again. That done, he met everyone at the front door. Jim had dressed and looked rested and relaxed. A far cry from how Blair felt he appeared. No time to shower meant, untamable hair. He had tied it back but a strand kept escaping the clasp and falling in his face. Blair tucked it once again back behind his ear and looked up to find Jim staring at him. The look on his face was undecipherable. 

"What?" 

Jim shook his head slightly, as if to clear it. "Nothing. We'll drop you at Rainier on the way to the PD." 

Blair grabbed Jim's arm before he could leave. "I'm coming with you, Jim." 

"What about your class, Blair?" Secretly Jim was happy that he would have his partner with him. He always seemed to think more clearly with Blair at his side. 

"This is more important, man. Someone tried to kill you." Blair's words left no room for argument and since Jim didn't even want to try, he just nodded. 

They followed Rafe and Brown to their car and had an uneventful journey to the police station. 

* * *

After learning that they were no closer to an answer as to who wanted him dead, Jim set Blair to work at his desk while he headed to the coffee room for a jolt of caffeine and, if he was lucky, a stale donut. 

Jim heard his phone ring as he was pouring the coffee. Automatically, he tuned in as Blair picked it up. 

"Detective Ellison's desk." 

"Is Detective Ellison in?" a hesitant voice asked. 

"Yeah sure. Hold on a sec." 

"Thank God." The voice on the other end of the line shook with emotion. Jim knew the voice well and grabbing the mugs he picked up his pace. 

"Mr. Ellison?", Blair asked. 

'The kid always did have a good ear for voices', Jim thought. He'd only heard his father's voice a couple of times and yet he recognized it almost immediately. It gave Jim an odd sense of pride. 

"Yes. Who is this?" Mr. Ellison's voice quavered. 

"I'm Blair Sandburg...your son's partner, Mr. Ellison." 

"Oh yes of course...Blair. I remember. Is Jimmy...is Jimmy okay?" 

Blair looked up as Jim sat down beside him at the desk, then handed the phone over with a curious look on his face. The sentinel took it and immediately answered. 

"Dad? What's wrong?" His father sounded weird...upset. 

"Jimmy? God, Jimmy. I'm so glad to hear your voice." 

Jim was starting to get alarmed. Was his father crying? He had never seen his father cry. His father never cried. 

"Dad, what is it? Talk to me?" 

The older man took a shuddering breath. "This is all so wrong, Jimmy. I didn't believe he'd do it. I swear I didn't...I never..." The older man gasped and choked off a sob. 

Grasping the phone tightly, Jim stood up, looking into Blair's scared eyes. "Dad, are you hurt?" 

"No, Jimmy. It's...it's...Sally. He...he...killed her." 

"Stay there. I'm on my way," Jim said quickly. "I'll be right there, dad, I promise." 

"Okay, Jimmy." His father spoke in such a soft voice that Jim had to strain to hear it, then the phone went dead. 

Jim looked around, surprised to find that he was the focus of attention in the bullpen. Simon stood in front of him and Blair to his side, clutching his arm. 

"Jim? Is everything okay?" Simon asked in concern. 

"No, Simon. That was my dad. He says that someone killed Sally --our housekeeper. I'm going over there now." Jim couldn't seem to feel what he was saying. The words were meaningless. 

"Rafe, Brown...you're with Ellison," Simon barked. The other two men grabbed their coats and headed for the elevator. Jim was already moving in that direction. Simon grabbed Blair's arm on the way past. "Sandburg?" 

Blair nodded, not talking his eyes off the back of his partner. "I know, Simon. I'll look after him." 

"There was never a doubt, kid," Simon said under his breath as he watched Blair run after Jim. 

* * *

The drive from head quarters was silent and fast. Blair was reminded of the last trip he had taken with Jim to this particular address. It had been necessity, that had drawn them there, then as well. That time, they were afraid of what they would find but still held out hope that everyone could escape with their lives. This time...?" Well, it seemed that they weren't going to be as lucky. 

They pulled up to the house with screeching tires and Blair leapt out of the car and ran up to the house after his partner. The door was unlocked and Jim pushed it in, pulling out his gun. Blair stayed behind the larger man, keeping an eye to the rear, giving Jim as much support as he could. 

"Dad!" Jim called out. 

Blair put his hand on Jim's back as they moved into the house. He noted that Rafe and Brown's car had pulled up to the curb, as they went inside. "What do you hear, Jim?" Blair whispered. 

Jim stopped for a moment and cocked his head a bit to the side, as he was prone to do when attempting to use his sentinel hearing. 

"I hear my dad singing," he said in an incredulous voice. "One heartbeat only, upstairs." Jim's face got impossibly whiter as he took in what that meant. He put away his gun. 

Rafe and Brown ran into the room, guns drawn. Blair stopped them with one hand held up. "It's okay." Then turned back to his partner. "Go on up, man. We'll wait here till you call for us." Jim nodded, his gratitude evident in his pale face, and slowly walked up the stairs. 

* * *

Each step Jim took seemed like an a supreme effort. He could hear his Dad singing very quietly, the sound wavered slightly and Jim could picture him in his mind, rocking back and forth. He didn't smell any blood, yet the scent of death was strong. One heart beat. Jim took a deep breath and forced himself to finish ascending the stairs. 

Sally had been like a mother to them after their real Mom had left. She had tried to teach them right from wrong. Tried to counter some of the harshness and competitiveness that their father had instilled in both himself and Steven. Now...oh God. 

In all the years he had been parted from his father, Jim kept in touch with Sally...secretly. She always brought in the mail, so it was no hardship. That way he was able to ensure his father was all right yet not have to see the old man. It still amazed Jim that, even after all the bad blood between he and his father, he still cared enough about him to keep track of what was going on in his life. Sally had always been a true friend, a confidante when he most needed it and an ally. Jim pushed away his memories, and pushed open the door to the housekeeper's room. 

"Dad," he said in a quiet voice, not wanting to startle the older man. William Ellison sat on the floor with Sally's head and shoulders cradled in his lap, rocking and singing softly. Jim finally recognized the song, it had been one of Sally's favorites. She used to sing it to them when they couldn't sleep. He was surprised his father even knew the words. Jim walked over, then put his hand on his father's shoulder when the man didn't respond. Finally, he looked up. 

"Jimmy...help me," he whispered in an anguished voice. 

Jim knelt next to them and put his finger on Sally's neck to check what his senses already told him. She was dead and had been for at least several hours. "It's too late, Dad, she's gone," he said gently. His own feelings were pushed deep down, set aside until he could find the time to mourn properly. "Let her go, Dad, you've got to let her go." The old man's face was dry as he looked up. No tears --as Jim had expected. Nothing except a face wracked with grief, unable to cry. It was like looking into a mirror. 

"I...can't...she needs me," he said in a detached voice. 

Jim grabbed his father by the shoulders and forced him to meet his eyes. "She's gone, Dad. As much as I wish it wasn't true...she's gone. You've got to let her go." Jim felt his stomach lurch as he spoke the words, realising how close they were to words spoken to him a few months back, when Blair had almost died in the fountain at Rainier. His father finally seemed to focus on his face and collect himself a bit. 

"Yes, of course...yes." He gently laid Sally onto the floor and stood, automatically straightening his gray sweater. He took a step towards the door before his legs buckled. Jim caught him before he hit the floor. 

"Blair!" he yelled down to his partner. "Call an ambulance!" He eased his father down and in an odd parody of his dad and Sally, cradling his head in his lap. Moments later Blair appeared at the door, Rafe and Brown close behind. The young man came in quickly and knelt beside him. The other detectives hurried over to the fallen woman. 

"He passed out," Jim said in response to the unasked question in Blair's eyes. The young man's gaze traveled over his partner's shoulder and took in the dead body behind them. 

"Sally?" he asked. 

"She's dead -- strangled," Jim said in a flat voice, his hand stroking his father's forehead. "She'd been with Dad since I was born. Longer than anyone else." Blair sat down next to him and waited with him for the paramedics. 

"I'm so sorry, Jim," Blair said, putting on hand on his back. Jim just nodded. There was nothing he could say that would change anything. They sat silently as Rafe and Brown called headquarters and showed the paramedics up. 

They were just loading his father into the ambulance when a car pulled up to the curb with a squeal of tires. Steven jumped out and ran over to Jim. 

"Jim! What's going on. I got a weird call from Dad," he asked in a rush. 

Jim put a hand on Steven shoulder and spoke the only way he could--straight. "Steven...Sally's been killed. Dad's in shock. They're taking him to the hospital now." 

"Oh my God, Jim. What happened?" Steven asked in a voice heavy with shock. 

"I don't know yet. Can you go to the hospital with Dad? I need to stay here and try to figure things out. I'll meet you there soon, okay?" 

Steven nodded and climbed into the back of the ambulance. In a moment it was gone, leaving Jim staring after it. He felt an arm encircle his waist and looked down at his partner. 

"Jim? Are you okay, man?" 

"I have to be," Jim responded dully. "Help me examine the scene, Blair. I don't know..." Jim stopped. He didn't know how he could face the scene of Sally's death with any sort of control over his senses. One side of him wished he could just go to the hospital and leave this crime to the others, the other side him wanted to catch the person who did this and personally make them pay. He owed it to Sally to do his best here. He owed it to her. 

"It's okay, Jim. I'll help you. I'll always help you." Blair said sincerely. 

Jim nodded gratefully and with Blair at his side, turned to go back inside. 

* * *

Jim and Blair arrived at the hospital two hours later. The sentinel was able to find his brother easily. The younger man was talking softly to the doctor when they walked into the elder Ellison's hospital room. Steven looked tired, but very glad to see his brother. 

"Jim. I'm glad you're here," he said as he embraced the surprised detective. Steven wasn't normally so demonstrative. It caught Jim off-guard as he awkwardly returned the embrace. Blushing slightly, Steven pulled back and ran his hand through his hair. The younger man was obviously shaken by the events of the day. Jim patted his arm, then moved past him to his father. 

William seemed to be resting comfortably. Steven appeared to Jim's right and joined him in looking down at their father. "The doctor sedated him. He came to in the ambulance and started to get irrational. He kept trying to get them to stop the ambulance. He was sure you were dead, Jim. We... I, kept telling him that you were fine but he got increasingly upset and the doctor felt it best to sedate him." 

Jim nodded. His father looked so peaceful. He had rarely seen the man at peace. Always there was that barely hidden look of disappointment. Jim realized that wasn't fair. He was judging the man by how he was in the past. The man here seemed to have little in common with the hard father that Jim remembered from his youth. "I was hoping I'd get a chance to talk to him. He obviously has some answers about what's been going on," Jim stated. 

The sentinel caught a movement out of the corner of his eye and stepped away from the bed to join his partner by the door. 

"I just talked to Simon, Jim," Blair whispered. "They just finished a sweep of the loft. They found another bomb man. This one was triggered by the phone." The young man fidgeted nervously. 

Jim glanced over at his brother, who was watching them curiously, then back to Blair. "I think we'd better have Steven's apartment checked too. Will you give Simon a call?" 

Blair nodded and left the room once again. 

"Jim, what's going on here?" Steven asked. 

Jim motioned for his younger brother to leave the room with him. He led the other man to a deserted waiting area, gesturing for his "bodyguard" to stay far enough away to afford them some privacy. Once there, he filled his brother in on the events of the past day and the morning. 

Steven sat down heavily and rested his head in his hands. "Thank God you were able to find the bomb in time, Jim. I don't even want to think about the alternative. Yes, by all means have them check my apartment." Steven handed his keys over to Jim and the sentinel passed them over to his waiting partner. Blair took the keys without comment and went to give them to the plainclothes officer who was waiting. Jim returned to his brother and sat in the chair next to him. 

"Listen, Steven, can you help us understand any of this? Was Dad having any problems that you know about?" Jim asked. 

Steven dropped his hands and turned his head toward his brother. "You know Dad is retired?" Jim nodded and he continued. "Well, he still has a lot of influence with the company and still is one of the major shareholders. He's on the board even though he stepped down as Executive Officer. Most of the others still listen to him. Having Dad on your side in the boardroom usually makes the difference between passing a motion and not." Steven paused for a moment then went on. "I only know this because I have a relationship with one of the board members. I shouldn't even be passing on this information, Jim. It's all hearsay." 

"Go on, Steven. I'll check out anything you tell me. I won't tell anyone where I got the information if it's possible, if that's what you're worried about?" 

Steven looked over at Jim angrily. "What? Of course that's not what I'm concerned about, Jim!" He stood and paced in front of the older man. "I couldn't care less. Do you think I put propriety over Dad's life? Over your life? God, Jim, I thought we were finally getting to know each other, I guess we've got a long way to go." 

Jim stood and stepped into his brother's path stopping his motion. "I didn't mean it that way, Steven. I just didn't want to make things more difficult for you. You can understand that can't you?" 

Steven did nothing but examine Jim's face for a few moments then sighed and put his hand on his shoulder. "Sorry, Jimmy. I guess old habits die hard." He leaned forward and rested his forehead on his hand and Jim had the urge to hug his brother. To offer what comfort he could. Sally had meant a lot to the younger man. Steven was only a toddler when their mother had taken off. He never really had a chance to know her. In his mind, Sally was the closest thing to a mother that he ever had, even though their father reminded them enough times that she wasn't. Jim settled for patting Steven's back awkwardly. 

"It's okay, Stevie. We're both on edge. Just tell me what you can." 

Pulling away, Steven sat back down and rubbed his face. "Okay. It might not have anything to do with anything, anyway. Dad's company is in the middle of a takeover battle. Another company wants to merge with Ellison-Byers Inc. Dad's been fighting against the merger, the new Chief Executive Officer has been fighting for it. This is not small potatoes, Jim. We're talking a deal that could give certain parties millions of dollars." 

"Enough to kill over," Jim stated quietly. 

Steven nodded. "Yeah. That's all I really know, Jim. As you can imagine, I didn't really want to talk about Dad during our dates." 

Jim smiled slightly. "No, I guess not. How are you and the old man getting along these days, anyway?" 

"Better, Jim. I see him about once a week for dinner or something. It's been hard trying to get past all the crap when we were growing up but there comes a time when you've just got to try to let it go. If not for Dad then for yourself...you know?" 

"Maybe someday, Stevie," Jim responded. 

"Jim, just look at where we are. There may not be a lot of opportunities left to work things out with Dad. If that's what you want to do?" 

"I don't know, Stevie. I honestly don't. Part of me wants to try, another part of me can't forgive what he's done. You don't understand." 

"I'd like to, Jimmy. I really would. I know there's stuff between you and Dad that I don't understand. I just wish that you would trust me... just a little," he finished sadly. 

Jim didn't know what to say. The urge to explain to Steven about his sentinel abilities and all that had happened was strong. But he couldn't do it. Not yet-- maybe not ever. He was saved by Blair's return. 

"Am I interrupting anything?" he asked before coming too close. 

"No," Steven said bitterly. 

Blair gave the younger Ellison an odd look but came in and sat kiddy-corner to the men anyway. "They've started searching your place, Steven, but so far nothing." Blair looked from man to man, wondering what he had interrupted. Steven was slumped down in his chair, staring angrily ahead and Jim sat straight, looking at Blair, jaw clenched. He suddenly had a vision of the two men as children. All three men looked up as the doctor entered the waiting room. 

"You're father is awake gentlemen and I think that seeing Detective Ellison would do him far more good than another sedative." 

They quickly made their way to William's hospital room. Jim could hear him arguing with the nurse as they approached. 

"I'll be fine as soon as you let me out of this damn bed." 

"Mr. Ellison, please? The doctor will be back in a minute," a female voice implored. 

Jim entered the room to find his father out of bed and half dressed. The harried nurse stood off to the side, and seemed extremely relieved to see them. 

"Dad, what are you doing?" Steven asked, pushing his way past Jim and hurrying to his father's side to support the pale man. 

Their father's eyes stayed on Jim. "You're okay then," the older man asked. 

Jim stepped forward, feeling Blair pull away and leave the room. He wanted to grab his guide and ask him to stay. Instead he let him retreat, pleased when the young man stayed just outside the door. "I'm fine, Dad. Why would you ask that?" 

His father paused then all emotion left his face. It was like he'd closed a door. "I was just worried about you and Steven, Jimmy. That's natural enough, isn't it?" Jim had the sudden urge to blurt out, 'since when,' but didn't have the chance even if he were so inclined. 

"Sure it is, dad," Steven answered, cutting Jim off before he could speak. "Why don't you get back in bed?" 

Jim glared at Steven. Old feelings bubbled up inside him. "No, that's not good enough, Dad. I need answers. What do you know about all this?" 

Steven cut in again before the older Ellison could answer. "Surely this can wait, Jim. Dad's had a shock, he needs to rest." 

"Steven!" Jim barked out sharply, startling the younger man into a sullen silence. "Dad?" He asked again. 

"I don't know anything that can help you, Jim," William said quietly. 

Jim tuned into his heart rate which sped noticeably with the lie. "Come on, Dad. I know you aren't telling me what you know. What are you doing? What are you hiding? I need to know everything if I'm going to catch this guy." 

"I can't help you, Jimmy," his father responded emotionlessly. 

"Can't? Won't, is more likely. I don't understand you. Sally's dead!" Jim stepped toward his father, unable to reign in his anger even as he saw his father flinch. "She's dead and still you won't help me!" His voice rose. His father blanched and Steven stepped between them. 

"He said he didn't know anything, Jim. Back off!" 

Jim stepped close to his brother, staring at him angrily. "Stay out of this, Steven. You don't know what you're talking about." 

Steven stepped back, intimidated a bit by Jim's anger. Standing beside his father he glared at him. "Just like old times huh, Jimmy?" 

Jim spun on his heel and strode out of the room, afraid of what he might do if he stayed. He felt Blair fall into step beside him as he stormed toward the exit. He didn't stop till he reached the truck then his anger left him suddenly, leaving behind exhaustion and sadness. He leaned against the truck, arms crossed and stared back at the hospital, his eyes automatically seeking out the room that belonged to his father. Blair mirrored his pose beside him. 

"Well, that went well," Jim said humorlessly. 

"Yeah, man, I heard. You guys didn't exactly keep your voices down. I'm sorry, Jim," Blair answered softly. 

Jim nodded. "Two minutes together in the same room and we fall right back into the old patterns. How many times have I lived that little scene?" He shook his head sadly. "Even now, after all these years, we can't even come together over the death of someone we all loved. And the old man's still keeping secrets and lying to me." 

"Jim, I know you don't want to hear this but maybe you should cut him a bit of slack. He and Sally were close, this has to be hitting him pretty hard." 

"Damn it, Chief! All I want from the man is a little honesty. I know he knows something relevant to Sally's death and the attack on me. All I want is for once to have him trust me to get the job done. Is that too much to ask?" Jim spoke agitatedly. 

"No, Jim. All I'm saying is that you should give him a little time, then go back and talk to him again, calmly. I'm on your side here, big guy, don't forget that." He put his hand on Jim's arm and squeezed gently to emphasize the point. 

"I know, Chief. I don't mean to take it out on you, it's just seeing them again like that. It just brings up a lot of stuff I'd rather not deal with right now." 

"Want to talk about it?" Blair asked. 

"Not now." He looked down into the worried eyes of his guide. "I can handle it, Sandburg, don't look so concerned." 

Blair nodded only half convinced but letting it go for the time being. "There's, Steven," he said, pointing toward the younger Ellison as he jumped into his sports car and sped away. 

"I thought he'd stay with Dad longer," Jim responded then turned his attention to his father's window. Blair stayed quiet, realising that Jim was checking on his Dad in his own way. Jim focussed on the window to his father room and saw him on the phone. Piggybacking his hearing onto his line of sight, he tuned into the conversation. 

"You think you can strong-arm me, you little shit? Well think again. We Ellison's are made stronger than that. I won't do it!" 

A laughing sigh came from the other end of the connection. "Not only are you pig-headed but you're also stupid, old man. I guess killing a _servant_ wasn't enough." The voice got harder. "Don't say I didn't give you a enough chances to save your son's life." 

"What?" William asked urgently. 

"I thought that the near escape yesterday would have been enough to convince you but I guess something more permanent is in order." 

"Don't fuck with me, Andrews!" William yelled. 

While focusing intently on his father's conversation Jim missed the squeal of tires off to his right. He was pulled away from the rest of his father's conversation by hands that grabbed him around the waist and forced him to the ground. 

* * *

"Jim, look out!" Blair yelled as he threw himself toward his partner. They both went down under a spray of bullets. The machine gun was pulled back into the car and their assailants sped away from the returning fire of Jim and Blair's bodyguards. 

Blair lay still for a moment, his arms still around his partner. The shock of the sudden attack subsided and he took stock of his body, relieved to find no pain. 

It took him a total of five seconds to realize that his sentinel didn't jump up to return fire, or roll over to cover him. Instead his partner lay unmoving in his arms. 

"Jim!" Blair shouted, his voice filled with dread. 

* * *

"Oh God, Jim," Blair moaned as he turned his partner over. The officers stood over them, their guns still drawn--on guard in case the car decided to make a second run. Blair felt something wet and sticky--blood. "Please be alright, Jim, please, please, please," he chanted. 

"Help's on the way, kid," one of the police officers said from somewhere above him. 

Blair's eyes stayed locked on the still form of his partner. There was blood on his forehead and more soaking through his shirt. He pulled out his handkerchief and pressed it against Jim's head. Through the clothing, he couldn't tell whether the other wound was to Jim's chest or shoulder. "Shoulder, be his shoulder," Blair whispered as he pulled aside the shirt. He breathed in sharply when's Jim's upper chest came into view. "It's his shoulder," he said to the approaching doctor in a shaky voice. "Thank, God," he added quietly. Blair allowed himself to be pushed aside as the medical team went to work, waving away the nurse who headed his way to see if he was injured. 

"Jim!" 

"Blair's head whipped around at the scream. Mr. Ellison ran over to them. 

"Oh my god, what have I done?" he moaned as he watched them loading his son onto the stretcher. Tearing his eyes away from Jim, he spotted Blair off to the side. The young man wrapped his arms around his stomach-shivering-and waited for the man to reach him. "Blair, what happened?" the older man asked urgently as he grabbed Blair's arm in a punishing grip. 

Blair tried to get himself under control enough to answer. He looked down at himself. He was covered in blood. Jim's blood. He could feel the wetness on his hands. His eyes locked on his partner and he was afraid to speak... afraid that he would lose it completely if forced to speak. 

The doctor finished securing Jim and began wheeling him towards the hospital door. Blair tried to pull away from Jim's father so that he could follow. 

"Blair! Tell me what happened?" William grabbed his other arm and shook him. Blair struggled to pull away but the older man's grip was surprisingly strong. 

"Let... me... go!" he yelled. Pulling sharply, he jerked free suddenly and found himself on the ground. 

"What's going on here?" a stern voice asked. 

Blair looked up and met Simon's eyes. He held out his hands so that the captain could see the blood. "Jim's hurt," he said in a small voice. 

The captain reached down and helped Blair to his feet. "Are you hurt?" he asked taking in the young man's bloody appearance. 

"No," Blair answered, feeling the world snap back into focus. "No," he said more firmly. He turned to William. "I'm sorry, Mr. Ellison. Let's talk inside, I need to be near Jim." With that he ran after the disappearing gurney, leaving the two men to follow at a slower pace. 

Simon and William found him again, questioning the nurse. With a frustrated exhale of breath, he turned away from the unhelpful woman and crossed to them, falling heavily into a chair against the wall. Simon and William stood in front of him. 

"What happened, Sandburg?" Simon asked finally. He had been on his way to the hospital and heard about the shooting on his police scanner. He had arrived just in time to witness the scene between Sandburg and the elder Ellison in the parking lot. At the time, it looked as if Jim's father had pushed Blair down. He had stormed over to them full of anger. Simon would never admit it but he felt a strange sense of protectiveness toward the observer. 

"We were just talking, Simon. I saw a car pull into the lot. It picked up speed when it turned and I just had time to see the gun before I tried to push Jim out of the way. Too late, " Blair finished miserably. 

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Blair. From the look of Jim's truck, if you hadn't acted so quickly, he'd probably be dead right now," Simon said frankly, ignoring the young man's wince. "What I don't understand is, why the two of you were out there in plain sight, after yesterday?" 

Mr. Ellison, who had been standing quietly, whipped his head around to stare at Simon. "What happened yesterday?" 

"Jim didn't tell you?" Simon asked. "No, of course he didn't. Someone tried to kill Jim and Blair yesterday. They found a bomb in Jim's truck. It may be connected to Sally's death, it seems rather too coincidental not to be, though we have no real proof either way right now." 

Mr. Ellison put out his hand and steadied himself against the wall. Simon looked at him curiously. "If you know anything about this, Sir, now is the time to pass it on." 

William was saved from answering as Blair jumped out of his chair and bolted over to the approaching doctor. 

"Mr. Sandburg?" The doctor asked, making a guess that the panicked young man in front of him was the person he was looking for. He recognized Captain Banks, and assumed the older gentleman behind Mr. Sandburg was the patient's father. 

"Yeah, that's me," the young man said quickly. "How is he?" 

The doctor smiled and Blair felt his tension ease. "He's going to be fine, Mr. Sandburg. He has a slight concussion from the bullet that grazed his forehead and he has lost a bit of blood from the gunshot wound to his shoulder, but overall he should recover fully without too much difficulty. Thankfully, the bullet passed straight through his shoulder. Your Mr. Ellison is a very lucky man." 

William frowned at the use of the word 'your'. He stepped forward. 

"I'm William Ellison-Jim's father. Perhaps you should be directing your questions and comments to me?" He made the question sound like a statement of fact. 

The doctor glanced at William, then back to Blair. Obviously there was a bit of tension there. He spoke to the older man. "I'm sorry, Mr. Ellison, but your son's medical files are very precise. Mr. Sandburg is listed as his medical contact. He has full authority over Jim's medical care if he cannot speak for himself." 

William reeled with the implications of that and turned and met Blair's equally shocked eyes. He didn't know, William realized. The older man felt the blow deep within himself. His son cared more for his 'partner' than he did for his own family. The extent of his failure hit him hard and he turned away. 

Blair grabbed his arm. "Mr. Ellison, please don't go. Jim will want to see you," he implored. 

William shook his head and looked back into the earnest eyes of the young man for a moment. "Thank you for saying that, Blair, but unfortunately, I don't think so." He patted the hand of the man who obviously meant so much to his son and refused to think about exactly how close they might be. "I'm going to go back to my room for a bit, I'll come by later," he relented. "Tell Jimmy..." He stopped then started again after a moment. "Tell Jimmy, I'm glad he's okay." With a quick squeeze of Blair's hand he walked away. 

Blair turned back to the doctor. "Is Jim awake?" 

The doctor smiled again. "Yes, he is and he'd like to see you." He put out his hand to stop Blair from racing to Detective Ellison's room. "We need to keep him overnight for observation. Maybe you can get him to stop trying to get out of the bed to get dressed so that he can go home?" The doctor stepped aside good naturally and gestured for Blair to go in. 

"I'm going to check in with the department, Blair. I'll be back later," Simon said. 

"Thanks, Simon," Blair responded absently, already heading for his partner's room. 

As Blair stepped into the hospital room, Jim's eyes snapped open. The young man came to a stop beside the bed and grabbed Jim's hand, holding it tightly between his own. 

"You okay?" Jim asked, his gaze travelling over his partner. 

"Oh man, Jim," Blair said shakily. "Here you are looking like you just came through a war zone and you ask if I'm okay?" Jim was naked to the waist, showing off the heavy bandage covering his shoulder. His side and neck were bruised from the fall and his head sported stitches. His appearance was topped off by the sentinel's paleness due to loss of blood. The overall effect forced Blair to face just how easily Jim could have died. One second there, the next gone. He gripped his partner's hand more tightly and sat quickly in the chair beside the bed, afraid that his legs would fail him. 

"Well, are you?" Jim asked again. 

"Am I what?" 

Jim rolled his eyes in such a traditional Jim-like fashion that Blair had to smile. "Are you okay? You're not shot or anything?" the older man asked again, exasperated. 

"I'm fine, Jim. No holes. You got the worst of this one." Blair paused, then continued more quietly. "I'm sorry." He felt the need to apologize. If he had of acted quicker... 

"For what?" Jim interrupted his self-recrimination. "It was my own damn stupidity. How many times have you told me not to concentrate exclusively on one sense? I was so involved in trying to hear what my old man was saying I didn't even hear the car. If you hadn't pulled me down..." He left the rest unsaid. The speech seemed to exhaust the sentinel. 

Blair didn't say anything for a few moments. When he did, Jim's eyelids were already drooping. "Why'd you list me as your next of kin, Jim?" 

Jim struggled to concentrate on the question. "You are, Sandburg. Sorry if it bothers you." 

"No man, it's the nicest thing you've ever not said to me, Jim." 

"Huh?" Jim asked, not able to even attempt to make sense of that response. 

"You really trust me that much?" Blair asked, leaning closer as the older man opened his mouth to answer. 

"Course, Chief, you're my partner... love you," he murmured, losing the battle with his exhaustion. 

Blair sat stunned, as the older man drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

An hour later, Blair shook his head and realised he was still sitting in the same position, staring at his sleeping partner, no closer to deciphering what Jim's words meant. He wanted to believe that his friend meant that he loved him--that he was _in_ love with him. Unfortunately, the more that he thought about it the more likely it seemed that he was saying he loved him as a friend and partner. In the end, there was no way he could figure it out until he could talk to his partner. When Jim woke up, he would find a way to discover the truth. That decided, Blair went into the bathroom to wash away the blood that had dried on his hands. 

He just finished scrubbing what felt like half the skin off his hands, when he heard a man's voice in the other room. Worried for Jim's safety, he quietly opened the door and peered around the corner. He was relieved to see Jim's father sitting beside his son's bed, holding his hand as the sentinel slept. Blair stepped back into the bathroom to dry his hands before going out to greet Mr. Ellison. He was captured by the sorrow and worry in the older man's voice and stopped what he was doing so that he could concentrate on his words. 

"Jimmy, I don't know what to do? It wasn't supposed to be like this, you know. When your mom and I got married we had it all mapped out. Get married at 22 straight out of University, start a business at 25, have our first child at 27, retire at 50 and spend the rest of our time travelling and spending time with our children and their families." He paused as if collecting his thoughts. 

Blair knew he should step forward but he didn't want to disturb the other man. Somehow he knew that if he interrupted Mr. Ellison now, what he needed to say would never be said. Keeping his silence Blair leaned against the doorjamb and listened. 

"I can't pinpoint exactly when it all began to unravel. I guess I was too engrossed in my company to notice Grace slipping away. Before I knew it, your mom was gone and I was left to raise two boys alone. I know you hate me for what I did to you Jimmy... when I think back, I can see how badly I failed you. I can't even recognize that man." His voice got quieter, filled with pain. "All I wanted was for my sons to grow up to be strong and independent men. For you and Stevie to lead normal and happy lives. When you started being able to see and hear things that no one else could, I got scared. Scared that people would find out, and yes, I'm ashamed to admit it now... scared that our family would become a laughing stock. Most of all though Jimmy, I was scared that you would be hurt." He sighed and Blair could clearly hear the regret in the sound. Blair felt an overwhelming urge to go out and comfort the man but he knew his action would not be appreciated so he stayed still. 

"I guess you were hurt anyway, weren't you Jimmy... I never dreamed that I would be the cause of your hurt. All I wanted was for you to have a normal life. Age does something for you, I guess. I can see that time so clearly now. It's so long ago, yet sometimes, it feels so close to me. I can almost reach out and touch it... change it... but I know that's not possible. I've driven a wedge between us that no matter how much I want to, I can never fix. Instead of protecting you, I took something from you and from myself. I can see now that I'll never get my boys back. I'll have to accept that. What I don't have to accept is this situation. The person who did this to you will pay, Jimmy. I can't fix what's happened in the past but I can fix this. I won't stand by and see you hurt because of me again." He leaned forward and rested his forehead on his son's hand. "I won't fail you again, Jimmy, I swear I won't." He pulled back and stood to leave but froze when he felt a pressure on his hand. 

Jim 's eyes opened slowly and William looked away, afraid to see the loathing he felt in his heart, reflected in his son's eyes. 

"Dad," Jim croaked. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Dad... I don't hate you. I'm not sure how to let go of the past but I don't hate you." 

Mr. Ellison drew his hand away from Jim. "I meant what I said, Jimmy. I'm going to take care of this." He gestured towards Jim's injuries. "I swear I will." 

"No, Dad, don't do anything foolish. If you know something, call Simon Banks. Last thing I need is you getting yourself killed." 

William pulled back his jacket to show Jim the handle of a gun. The sentinel's fear for his father grew. He tried to sit up but was overcome by dizziness. His father turned to leave and Jim desperately called out to his partner. He knew the young man was near-by. "Blair!" 

Blair took a deep breath and stepped out of the bathroom and into Mr. Ellison's path. The older man stopped in surprise. Blair held up his hands after a quick glance at the bed to ensure Jim was okay. "Why don't we all sit down and talk about this, Mr. Ellison?" 

He seemed to consider the request for a moment, then shook his head. "No, I've said what I came here to say, now I need to protect my family." 

"Listen," Blair said urgently, his eyes taking in the exposed gun. "Getting yourself shot is not going to help your family. You have a chance here to have a relationship again with your sons. Do you want to throw that away?" 

"You wouldn't understand, Sandburg. I've got to make it up to Jimmy. I've got to prove to him that he's important to me. I can't stand by and do nothing." He fingered his gun. 

Surprised, Blair blurted out, "are you going to pull that on me, Mr. Ellison? Will that make it up to Jim?" 

"If I have to... I don't want to hurt you, Blair, get out of my way." 

Blair shook his head. He didn't believe Jim's father would do it. He would not pull a gun on his son's best friend. They stood in stalemate for a moment until a crash behind them broke the tension. 

After looking over William's shoulder at Jim, Blair bolted across the room to his partner. Jim stood on wobbly legs, having already knocked the pitcher of water off the night table. He arrived to his side just as the sentinel began to crumble. Catching him around the waist, he eased the larger man back onto the bed. 

"God, Jim, what the hell do you think you're doing?" 

Jim shook his head a bit to clear it. The loss of blood hit him harder than he had thought. He definitely would have taken a header if Blair hadn't been there. "He would have done it, Chief," he said frankly, still holding onto his partner's shoulders as the room slowed its spinning. 

"Your father wouldn't hurt me, Jim." 

"Not on purpose, no, I don't think so but once a gun is drawn..." 

They both remembered the older man at the same time and looked over to find the room empty, except for themselves. 

"Damn it. Stupid son of a bitch," Jim swore. "What in the hell does he think he's doing?" Jim allowed Blair to ease him back onto the bed. To be honest, his head was spinning too much to resist. 

"I think he's just trying to protect you, Jim." 

Jim sighed and laid back. "Damn, I should have just told him I forgive him." 

"Is that the truth?" Blair asked as he reached for the phone. 

"No. I really want to, Chief, but I keep coming back to how much he hurt me that day when he forced me to hide my senses. Not just then but it's colored everything I've done since then." 

"Lying to him is not the way to go, if you ever hope to rebuild something between you. You can't expect to--and he can't expect you to--get over a lifetime of hurt in a few months. It'll take time to get past this, Jim, but if you both are willing you _will_ get past it." 

"Maybe, Chief. Sometimes it really doesn't seem worth all the aggravation and effort. Will you call Simon and let him know what happened?" 

"Already underway, my friend," Blair said as he finished dialing and waited for their Captain to answer. Once he had finished and Simon had promised to subtly keep an eye out for Jim's father, he glanced back at his partner in time to see the older man sit up and attempt to swing his legs off the bed. Handing up the phone quickly Blair grabbed his friend. 

"Whoa, whoa big fella, what do you think you're doing?" 

"Come on, Sandburg... let go," the bigger man said as he looked down at the hand on his thigh... his bare thigh, he realised, since his boxers had ridden up. Jim wasn't surprised to note that it felt good to have his partner touch him. He wished he had the nerve to ask Blair to touch him in an even more intimate place. 

Finally Blair seemed to notice where his restraining hand had fallen and pulled it back abruptly. He ran his hand nervously through his hair and Jim bit off a chuckle. He carefully, and slowly this time, stood. His legs were shaky but seemed to hold up alright. He reached out and grabbed Blair's shoulder to steady himself and was happy when the young man didn't pull away. 

"You know I can't stay here. I've got to find my father." Jim stated. 

Blair pulled away and Jim carefully made his way to the closet and withdrew his clothing. 

"I don't think this is a good idea, Jim. You're still too weak." 

"I'm fine," Jim lied, dialing down the pain in his head and shoulder. He sat down on the bed and congratulated himself on completing the journey without doing a face-plant on the floor. "I'm going to find my dad with or without your help." 

Blair watched him as he leaned over and attempted to pull on his pants. Each time he bent over the room spun uncontrollably and he had to sit back up. 

"You were saying?" Blair asked after the forth try. 

Jim glanced over at his partner trying for his best pathetic look. "I was saying that I'm going to find my dad and I need your help." 

"That's what I thought you said," Blair grinned back at him and stepped over to the bed to assist his partner in dressing. "This definitely isn't a good idea but I know that you'll go anyway, even if it kills you. I think the odds of that happening are slightly less if I'm along to help you and that's the only reason I'm going along with this." Blair talked quickly trying to distract himself as he pulled Jim's pants over the older man's buttocks. He _really_ didn't want to get an erection right then but the act of helping the man he'd lusted after for so long put on his pants was intoxicating. Blair jumped as his partner shifted his weight and the sentinel's leg brushed his groin. 

Jim froze and Blair looked down in dismay at the tell-tale hardness... too late. 

[Continued in part two](sacrificeto_a.html). 


	2. Chapter 2

Due to length, this story has been split into two parts.

## Sacrifice to a Greater Cause

by Mia Athlas

Disclaimers and notes in part one. 

Sacrifice to a Greater Cause - part two  
by Mia Athlas 

Both men seemed to be looking anywhere and everywhere but at each other. Blair was mortified. At this moment he wished the floor would just open up and swallow him. He considered and discarded a dozen excuses. Everything from a pretty nurse he'd met in the hallway to a new pair of silk boxers was examined and discarded as a potential way to explain his hard-on to Jim. In the end he decided that he would just have to move the conversation about their relationship up to a little sooner than expected. 

"Uh...Blair?" Jim broke the silence first. "What was that?" 

Blair forced his eyes off a spot on the floor and met his partner's gaze. Jim's expression was tightly closed and the young man couldn't get a hint of his feelings on the matter. No help there. Frankness was worth a shot. "How do you feel about me, Jim?" 

Jim looked a bit confused for a moment then answered carefully. "What are you talking about, Sandburg? What do you mean, how do I feel about you? You're my partner, Chief...and my best friend." 

Blair sighed. "Thank you, Jim, you're my best friend too, but that doesn't answer my question. How do you feel about me?" 

Jim's jaw twitched and he took a long time to answer. When he did, it was in the form of a question. "How do you feel about me, Blair?" 

"Arrrrggghhh," Blair cried out and flopped down onto the bed on his back, hands covering his face. Trying to get a straight answer out of his partner was like pulling teeth. After a moment, Blair sat back up and looked at the pale face of his friend. They were about to sneak out of the hospital to go searching for Jim's old man and a killer. Jim was definitely not up to par. If they managed to find the killer, the odds were not in their favor. The time for stalling was over. 

"I love you, Jim, that's how I feel about you." 

Jim's eyes widened a bit at the statement but otherwise his expression remained unreadable. "I love you too, Chief, you're my best friend," Jim responded. 

Blair smiled a bit at the carefully phrased reply. It could be taken as a declaration of mutual love or as the love that a someone would have for a close friend. "There might be a place for you in politics yet, Jim. No...let's be completely clear. I'm _in_ love with you. I have been bisexual my entire life and I am in love with you. I want you so badly, sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode. Clear enough?" 

Jim nodded and Blair continued. "Are you going to say anything? I've just confessed my heart out here, man. I think I need to know where you stand." 

Jim sat down beside his partner. "Sorry, Chief, I just need a moment to process this. You've just handed me everything I wanted and I'm not 100% sure it's real. My head is spinning and the drugs they gave me are making everything a little foggy. I'm afraid that if I say anything, I'll find out that it was all just a figment of my imagination." 

"Take a chance, Jim," Blair whispered urgently, "just take a chance." 

"I love you," Jim ground out. "I've been in love with you forever it seems." The older man looked down at his hands. 

Blair reached over and took those hands into his own. "Thank God." 

Jim leaned over and rested his head against his partner's. He felt something let go inside himself. The last couple of days rushed back at him like a flood and he was carried away. The overwhelming relief he felt that his partner loved him cracked his carefully constructed wall that kept him emotionally safe. 

"God, Chief," Jim whispered, hearing the hitch in his own voice. 

Blair looked at him in alarm just as Jim lost his last iota of control. Maybe it was the drugs, maybe his injuries, maybe the horror of losing Sally and being drawn back into memories of his unhappy childhood. Whatever the reason, Jim felt the dam break and choked off a harsh sob. 

"Jim!" Blair said, frightened. He reached out and pulled the older man into his embrace just as the tears began. 

Jim tried to pull away... tried to cover his tears but Blair just held on until the older man gave into it and did what he hadn't let himself do since the day his mother left--he cried. 

* * *

After a few minutes, Jim had regained control of himself. He rested for a few moments, his head still cradled against his partner's chest, before pulling back. Embarrassed, he avoided the young man's gaze. 

"Uh... sorry, Chief... must have been the drugs they gave me..." He felt like a fool. Grown men didn't cry. 'He finally admits he loves me and what I do... I cry like a baby.' Jim wished he could leave. Surely Blair thought he was an idiot. Jim was shaken from his thoughts when his partner wrapped his arms around him from behind. He could feel Blair's hot breath against his bare back as the young man spoke. 

"It's okay, Jim. I love that you feel secure enough with me to let go. I love you." 

Jim could feel tears welling up in his eyes again at the soft spoken words. He almost went with the feeling... then he remembered where they had been going. His father. God, if the old man could only see him now, blinking back tears, eyes red. He would have a heart attack. 

Jim pulled away from Blair. "We don't have time for this, Sandburg," he said harshly. Jim hated himself for showing his weakness in front of his partner. 

In a flash, Blair was in front of him, anger pouring off his body. "No time for what exactly, Jim? No time for you to express your grief... no time for me to love you? God, Jim, you just told me you loved me twenty minutes ago and already you're pulling away. What's going on?" 

Jim continued to stare at his hands, refusing to meet his partner's angry gaze. "I'm sorry, Chief," he said quietly. 

Blair sighed and sat on the bed in front of the older man and took his hands into his own. "I don't want you to be sorry Jim, I just want you to talk to me. I want to know what's going on inside that thick head of yours." 

Finally, Jim raised his head and looked into his partner's eyes. Compassion and love shone back at him. Jim took a calming breath. He could do this. Break the old patterns. "I remember the last time I cried," he began quietly. "I was 8 years old and my mother had just left. One day she kissed Stevie and me and told us to be good for our father and then she was gone. I remember thinking that she had just gone to the store. I didn't even realise what had happened till the next morning." Jim closed his eyes remembering the pain of that morning. Even after everything he had been through since then, it stood out in his mind as one of his most painful days. 

March 3 rd, 1970 

The day started much the same way as they always did; with three year old Stevie sitting on his bed staring at him till he woke up. It had become a game with the little boy. He would sit there patiently and stare until Jim showed signs of waking. He opened one eye and his brother squealed and launched himself at the older boy. Jim smiled and tickled his little brother, laughing with the giggling child. Voices from the other room distracted him from his play. Without conscious thought he focused in on the words. He was just beginning to realise that not everyone could hear as well as he could and he was very careful not to show off. Jim's brow creased and he concentrated harder --his father's voice was angry. 

"Why didn't you call me!?" William roared. 

"I'm sorry, Mr. Ellison. She said she was just taking a short trip. I never expected she'd do something like this. I never thought she'd leave," Sally answered in a scared voice. 

"Damn it!" Mr. Ellison shouted. Sally tried to console the older man fearfully. 

"Don't worry, Sir, she'll come back. She'll realise it's not right leaving like that. She'll be back." The housekeeper spoke with conviction. 

His father 's voice was low and dangerous. "She is not welcome in this house, Sally. Do you understand me? She has made her choice and there is no taking it back. From this point on, we will not speak to her, or of her...do you understand?" 

"Y-yes Sir," Sally stammered. 

Jim winced and pulled his hearing as his father slammed the door to his study. 

Jim got out of bed, pulling his still giggling brother with him. "Let's get dressed, Stevie. Let's show Mom and Dad what a big boy you are." Stevie followed Jim like he always did and stayed relatively cooperative while his older brother dressed him. 

He didn't know who his dad was mad at but he was just glad that it wasn't him or Stevie. He hated it when his father got mad. Taking great care in dressing himself and Stevie, Jim just knew his father would be proud at how well he looked after his younger brother. His Mom deserved the break, too. He had overheard her talking to someone on the phone the other day. She was saying that she couldn't handle it anymore, that everything was just too hard. Jim didn't know what "it" was but figured that he could make things around the house easier for his mom. Since then, he had been extra careful with his things and helped out with Stevie whenever he could. He'd even made his Mom some tea when he got home from school yesterday. Jim smiled and towed his little brother with him out to the kitchen. 

Sally was standing at the counter--crying. After helping Stevie into his high-chair, Jim went over to see if he could help. "Are you okay, Sally? Dad didn't mean it, he just gets mad sometimes," he said solemnly. 

"Oh Jimmy," she said as she looked fearfully over his head. 

Jim turned as his father stormed back into the kitchen and grabbed a coffee cup, before noticing that no coffee was brewed. He slammed the cup back down on the counter. 

Jim couldn't remember the last time there wasn't any morning coffee for his dad. Breakfast was the one meal that his mom always insisted on preparing. He looked at the stove and was surprised not to see her typical bowl of eggs. 

"Where's Mom?" Jim asked, looking around. He listened really hard for her. He discovered that if he listened really hard he could tell who was in the house. He didn't understand it, he just did it. This time he knew she wasn't there. Surely she was back from the store by now. He asked again. "When is Mom coming home?" 

Jim watched as his father's back stiffened, then the man spun around suddenly and faced him. He looked angrier than Jim had even seen him. In two strides, he was in front of him, grabbing Jim by the shoulders. He gasped in surprise as his father shook him. His lower lip trembled as surprise gave way to fear and hurt. 

"She's never coming home! She's tired of me, tired of this life and tired of you boys! She doesn't want us anymore!" William yelled, still shaking the boy. 

Jim started crying. He didn't understand what his dad was talking about. Where would his Mom go? She lived here, with them. Jim could hear Stevie crying as well and felt tiny arms wrap around his legs. 

"Stop it, daddy," the little boy wailed. 

William stepped back from the two crying boys and looked at them with distaste. "It's no wonder your mother left... look at you... crying like little girls. God, it makes me sick. It's about time you boys started behaving like men... especially you Jimmy. It's your responsibility to set an example for your younger brother... and look at you." He gestured to the tear tracks on his oldest son's face. "I think perhaps you two need to spend a little more time apart." William pulled Stevie away from Jim and handed him to Sally. "Take him," he ordered. 

The housekeeper cuddled the weeping child in her arms. "You," William said, pointing to Jim. "You will go to your room. I don't want to see your face till you can behave like a man." 

Jim ran to his room and flung himself down on his bed, crying. He couldn't breath, he couldn't think... all he could do was weep. 

Present 

Jim felt exhausted. He looked up at his partner and saw the barely contained tears in his eyes and it gave him the strength to finish his story. "That evening he finally let me out. My eyes were dry. I don't think I could have cried any more even if I wanted to. I felt numb. It seemed to please the old man that I wasn't crying... like his punishment had taught me a lesson." Jim paused for a moment. "I guess it did. It taught Stevie a lesson, too. He spent the day with his father. I think it was the first time my father had ever spent that much time with Steven. It was the first time I remember him punishing one of us and rewarding the other." 

"Oh God, Jim, I am so sorry," Blair whispered, his eyes shiny with unshed tears. He pulled the sentinel into an embrace. "I'm so sorry that he did that, Jim. He's wrong, you didn't drive your mother away and it's okay to cry. You can cry with me Jim." 

"How can I forgive him, Blair? How can I possibly forgive him?" Jim whispered brokenly. Blair didn't answer, he just held his partner tighter. 

Jim pulled away abruptly as the door opened. Simon strode in, pulling up short at the sight of the two men on the bed. Wisely, he decided to ignore the clench and the red eyes and said what he'd come there to say. "We spotted your father's Mercedes downtown, Jim. It's outside of Ellison-Byers Inc.. I have Brown watching it." 

Jim cleared his throat and stood. He was happy to find his legs a bit steadier than the last time. "Thanks, Simon. I've got to get down there. I'll take care of it." 

Simon looked unconvinced but held his silence at a look from Blair. Soon Jim was dressed and they were on their way to the office building. 

* * *

Jim filled his friends in on all he knew during the drive to his father's office building. The conversation he overheard and his talk with Steven shed a lot of light on what was currently happening. They pulled up outside of the building a few minutes later. 

Running into the foyer, they showed their badges and requested entry. Unfortunately, the security guard refused to let them pass without checking with the boss first. Jim did not want Phillip Andrews, current CEO of the company, to know that they were coming. 

The sentinel fixed the man with a hard stare and drew himself up to his full height, taking his hand off his partner's shoulder. "I guess you don't know who you're talking to. Maybe you'd better take a closer look at my badge." 

"James Ellison," the man read. They could see the moment when the man realised Jim's identity. 

"That's right Mr..." Jim looked at the security guard's badge, "...Reynolds. Now if you value your job here, you will let me go upstairs and join my father." 

The man hesitated for a moment more then gave in. He had heard rumors about the power that the elder Ellison still wielded and he did in fact need the job. He pressed the magnetic lock release and allowed the men to pass. 

"Your father came in about a half hour ago, Mr. Ellison. He's with Mr. Andrews on the 10th floor... office at the end of the hall." 

"Thank you," Jim responded to the unasked for information. He put his hand back on Blair's shoulder, using the younger man as support as they made their way to the elevator. Jim tried not to think about all that could have happened in the half hour since his father had arrived. 

At the fifth floor, the sentinel extended his senses and located his father. He felt Simon and Blair's eyes on him but they stayed silent, allowing him to focus. He felt his guide's hand on his back, grounding him, allowing him to give freer reign to his senses. His father was talking to another man. 

"Tell me where it is you son of a bitch!" 

"Do you think I'm stupid, Ellison? After you've signed the contract I'll tell you... not before. Your choice. Your company or your son?" a deep voice answered. Jim recognized it immediately as the same voice that he heard his father speaking to on the phone just before he was shot. 

The elevator arrived and the three men made their way to the correct room. They entered the outer office just as his father asked a question. The voices of the two men inside carried easily to them through the slightly opened door. Jim readjusted his hearing to normal and they crept forward. 

"Why are you doing this? Why Jim?" William asked. 

"Why do you think, old man? I wanted to save Steven to hold over your head. I know you and the detective aren't close. I thought by killing him, it would show you just how precarious Steven's position really was. Detective Ellison was simply a small sacrifice to the greater cause." 

Jim stopped. The words hit him hard. The man obviously didn't think that killing him would really bother his father. He was only using him as a means to drive home how easy it would be to kill Steven... the son that their father really cared about. The truth of the statement was not lost on him. He felt Blair move closer to him, offering silent support. 

"What do you mean?" Jim's father asked, the confusion evident in his voice. 

"Come on, Ellison, it's obvious that Steven is the golden boy. I needed the person that you cared most for to hold over your head... so... Jim is only a pawn in our little match, sacrificed to a greater cause. Steven is the one you care about. I've had you followed since the beginning of the merger talks, old man. I know that you and Steven spend a lot of time together. I know where your loyalty lies. Jim's death would only soften you up so that you would sign the documents without pause, knowing that I was serious and Steven would be next." 

"You're a fool, Andrews," William hissed. 

Jim pushed open the door. He'd heard more than enough. Anger filled him. He hated how much the truth hurt him. His father shouldn't still have the power to hurt him. As they stepped in, William turned to face them. 

"Jim," he stuttered," what in the hell are you doing out of the hospital?" 

Jim ignored the older man and surveyed the room and their suspect. Andrews was seated on the floor, back against the window. Blood trickled down his chin from a split lip. Otherwise, he seemed to still be in one piece. 

Assured that his father hadn't really injured the other man, he turned back to face him. "Is this the man that's been threatening you?" 

William shrank back a bit from the anger in his son's eyes. "How do you know about that? Listen, Jimmy, I told you that I would take care of this. You should be in a hospital." 

"I couldn't do that, dad," Jim responded. "What was I supposed to do, sit in the hospital while you got yourself in deep shit?" he whispered. "Looks like it's a good job I came too. What's going on here?" 

"He says he's planted another bomb, Jimmy," William warned. "I couldn't get him to tell me where." 

Jim sighed. "My loft... we found it hours ago." 

William looked relieved immediately. "Thank God." 

They were interrupted as Andrews stood and straightened his suit jacket. "I said nothing of the sort. You're insane, William." He turned to face Simon, having recognized the Captain of Major Crimes from one of his many interviews. "Captain Banks?" he asked. Simon nodded abruptly. "I want this man arrested. He barged in and accosted me." He touched the cut on his lip for emphasis. "Then he held me captive at gunpoint." 

Blair turned away from the well-dressed man and touched William's arm to get his attention. "Is that what happened Mr. Ellison?" 

"No, that's not the way it happened," William said in outrage. "I came in here to speak to Andrews face to face. To get him to admit to my face what he'd done. I was prepared to sign his damn papers so that he would get his goons to leave my family alone, if I had to. He started talking alright. He told me what he'd done and that he'd planted another bomb in Jim's apartment. I'm ashamed to say--I lost it. I knew Jim would be in the hospital all night but I thought that you would get caught in the blast. Jim would never forgive me if you got hurt, Blair... but the bastard wouldn't tell me. I wasn't going to hurt him... not really. He got that..." William gestured to the split lip, "...when he took a swing at me." 

"Nice story, Willy," Andrews mocked as he moved closer to the older man. Jim tensed but the other man stopped just out of arm's reach and he relaxed again. "I think the eye-witnesses and the physical evidence will support my version of the story." The man smirked and Jim had the sudden urge to rip his face off. William, on the other hand, was calm and collected. That seemed to unnerve the Andrews and he added under his breath, "I should have no problem circumventing you, old man, once this comes out." 

William clenched his jaw and stepped around Andrews to reach the Captain. "Captain Banks. My main purpose today was to get a confession, not just for me but for the record. That's why I came here wired today." He lifted his shirt to reveal the high tech listening device. Jim stared open-mouthed and Blair laughed. "My friends from the FBI would have probably been in here by now if you hadn't shown up. I suspect they were on their way, when I hit Andrews here. Fortunately, he spilled his guts with no coercion at all. He couldn't wait to brag to me about how easy I was to cow." 

"It'll never stick, Ellison," Andrews snarled, stepping forward menacingly. 

"Oh I think it will," William stated. "It seems the FBI have been building a case against you for some time. This was just the final nail in your coffin." 

Two well-dressed young men who couldn't possibly look _more_ like FBI agents, stepped into the room. William gestured toward Andrews. "He's all yours gentlemen." 

Andrews roared and rushed William in anger. Jim automatically stepped into his path to protect his father. Andrews plowed into him, hitting just below his wounded shoulder. Already weakened, Jim went down hard. Simon was there in an instant, easily restraining the infuriated man. He gladly handed him off to the agents, ignoring his stream of curse words. 

Blair was already kneeling beside Jim, as the Sentinel gasped to regain his breath and get control of his pain dials. "Take it easy," Blair whispered. 

Jim focused on the young man's voice and soon had himself under control once more. Ignoring his father's offer of help, he took Blair's hand as he got up and kept a possessive hand on his shoulder as they stood. Looking at his father, Jim had to admit to a grudging respect. Say what you would about the man, he was still a crafty old bastard. 

"Why didn't you just tell us this at the hospital, Dad? It would have saved us a lot of trouble." 

William blushed. "Honestly, Jim, I'm embarrassed to admit that when I was at the hospital my only thoughts were to make Andrews pay for what he'd done. After you woke up and I knew you were going to be alright, I calmed down a bit. It was only after I left that I decided to take the FBI up on their offer. I'm sorry I worried you." 

Jim sighed. "This isn't the place to discuss it. Let's get out of here." 

"Jimmy..." William began. Jim held up his hand. 

"Not now, dad. Please, just go home. We'll talk tomorrow." 

William examined his son's face and must have saw something there that convinced him to let it go. "Okay, son." 

Jim relented a bit at the concern in his father's eyes. "Will you be okay?" 

"Yes," William said, "Steven is meeting me at the house in a little while. Take care of yourself," he added before leaving. 

* * *

After a quick visit to the hospital to have Jim's shoulder checked and the dressing changed, the older man insisted on returning home to the loft to sleep. The doctor grudgingly agreed, and left them with specific instructions on what to look for that would signify a problem. All Jim wanted to do was sleep in his own bed, surrounded by his and Blair's things. 

Both men were weary as they entered the loft. The day's events catching up with them. Jim shrugged off his jacket and stumbled quickly into the washroom. When he came out, he found Blair sitting on the edge of the couch, tapping his foot nervously. After crossing to him, Jim rested his hands on the young man's knees. "What's up, Chief?" 

"Listen, Jim," Blair began, staring down at the floor. "Oh hell, do you want me to sleep upstairs tonight or not?" he blurted out, blushing furiously. 

Jim smiled and put his forehead against Blair's. "Tonight and every night from now on." 

Jerking his head up, Blair found his face an inch from his partner's. "Really?" he asked with a huge smile. 

"Really," Jim answered. Their lips were so close it only took a slight movement to bring them together. The first sensation the sentinel felt was surprise at how soft Blair's lips were. After a brief time, he pulled back from the chaste kiss. Blair opened his eyes in surprise. 

"Bed," Jim said and with one last pat on the knee he now realised that he had been gripping too tightly, he turned for the stairs. "Hurry up." 

Blair touched his lips and smiled before jumping up and racing into his room. After changing into loose sweatpants, he completed his nightly routines in record time then ran up the stairs, looking forward to more of Jim's wonderful kisses. The young man smiled as he topped the staircase. Jim was sound asleep. The older man was laying on his back on top of the covers--clad only in his black boxer shorts. 

Blair walked forward and rested his hand on his partner's well-muscled chest. He found himself comforted by the steady rise and fall as Jim breathed. Leaving his hand where it lay, Blair allowed his eyes to travel the length of the sentinel's body. Never before had he been able to take it all in... slowly. He found himself noticing things he had never picked up on before. Jim's lashes were so long. Before he had only seen the eyes that captivated him. It was impossible to look into those deep, intense eyes and see anything else. In sleep, his dark lashes stood out wonderfully. Blair shivered at the new discovery and continued his examination. Heavy veins lined his arm, showing his strength. The straight slope as his chest gave way to slim hips. A small scar gracing his upper left thigh looked suspiciously like a knife wound. Blair stored away the info so that he could ask Jim about it later. His eyes lingered on his partner's silk covered groin. 

'If only Jim had decided to sleep in the nude,' Blair thought wistfully. The young man's eyes widened as the bulge seemed to grow. Startled, he lifted his gaze to Jim's open but still groggy eyes. The older man trapped Blair's hand where it rested on his chest before he could pull it away. 

"See anything you like?" Jim asked sleepily. 

Blair smiled, his nervousness vanishing as quickly as it had come. "Oh yeah, man, without a doubt." 

"Feel free to sample anything that catches your eye," Jim grinned. The attempt at seduction was ruined by a huge yawn. 

Blair pulled his hand away and circled the bed so that he could crawl into the other side. "Right now you need rest, we have all the time in the world for sampling." 

Jim turned his head, smiled lovingly at his friend and didn't resist as Blair rearranged him so that the young man could pull the blankets over both of them. "Sorry, Chief... just so tired all of the sudden," Jim said with another yawn. His eyelids fluttered. 

"It's no wonder, Jim. It's okay... go to sleep. I'll still be here in the morning." Blair gently took his sentinel's hand under the covers and the older man drew it back to his chest before succumbing to his exhaustion. Blair settled back, amazed by how much their lives had changed in the past couple of days but soon felt the pull of sleep himself. 

* * *

As it turned out, Jim slept through most of the next day. Blair fielded questions from his father and finally got him to agree not to come over till the following day. Finally, in the late afternoon, he heard the older man stirring. Blair put on some soup before bounding up the stairs. Jim was just swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress when he got to the room. 

"It lives," Blair joked as his partner blearily looked around. 

"Hey, Chief," Jim grunted as he stood with a grimace. 

Blair looked at his shoulder with worry. No blood on the bandage--that was a good sign. "How's the shoulder today?" he asked. 

"Hurts like hell, Sandburg, what do you think?" Jim growled. He stopped abruptly as he took in the hurt expression on his partner's face. "Sorry, Chief," he said rubbing his face with one hand. "Let me start over... my shoulder hurts and my head feels like it's stuffed with cotton." 

"Do you think we should go back to the hospital?" 

"No... it's not that bad, it's just a dull nagging pain more than anything. What time is it?" 

Blair accepted the answer but knew he would keep a close eye on his partner, just in case it was actually worse than he was letting on. "It's 4 o'clock." 

"God, really? No wonder I feel like someone put my head in a vise--too much sleep." 

"You needed it, man," Blair responded as they made their way downstairs. "Why don't you go wash up and I'll dish up some soup?" 

Jim grinned. "Sounds good, Chief, I can't remember the last time I ate." He walked into the bathroom leaving the door ajar so that they could continue to talk. "I promised my father I'd go over there today," Jim stated. Blair could hear the ill-covered apprehension in his voice. 

"Oh yeah, your father called earlier. I told him you were still resting. He said that he would come over tomorrow so the two of you can talk." Blair heard the sigh of relief from a room away. The young man tensed and told Jim the rest. "He also said to tell you that Sally's funeral is tomorrow. Her family decided to go forward with it as soon as possible." There was no response from the bathroom but Blair knew that Jim had heard him. He left the sentinel to deal with the news in his own time and finished preparing the light meal. 

He was just placing the bread and bowls on the table when Jim came out, still wearing only his black boxers. His friend's face was pale, but he was in complete control. They both sat and began eating. "Is it okay if I come to the funeral with you?" Blair asked finally. 

"Yeah, Chief. I'd like you there." 

Blair felt warmth flow through him at the simple words. In Jim-speak it was like begging him to come to the funeral. "Okay, Jim. Maybe we should stop and see your father afterwards. That way you can leave when you feel you need to" 

Jim continued eating, ignoring the younger man. "You know, Jim, you are going to have to talk to your father eventually," Blair ventured. For a minute he didn't think that his partner was going to respond but eventually Jim answered. 

"I know, Chief, it's just... I don't think I can tell him what he wants to hear. As much as I'd like to forgive him and move on... I just can't." Jim stopped eating and clasped his hand together in his lap, sitting straight in the chair. 

"Jim, you know whatever you decide I'm with you, man, but I think you should give this some thought..." 

Jim stood abruptly, cutting Blair off, and walked into the living room and began pacing. "I'm so tired of thinking about this. It's _all_ I've thought about for two days. God, I'm so sick of everyone thinking that I'm heartless because I can't accept that my father is a changed man and not the bastard that I grew up with. I wish that I'd never had to see him again." 

Blair crossed into the living room and sat on the couch. Snagging Jim on his next pass, he pulled the older man down to sit next to him. "Listen, Jim, I don't give a shit about your father, but I do give a shit about you." He clasped Jim's hand and the distraught man looked at him. "I can see this tearing you apart and it hurts. I think you need to find a way to forgive your father-- for yourself. If you don't want to see him after this, no one is saying you have to but you need some closure here. You need to find a way to make peace with your old man so that you _both_ can move on." 

Jim sighed and leaned back against the couch. "I know you're right, Chief. It's just that when I'm with him I keep flashing back to every time he told me I wasn't good enough, every time he forced Steven and me to compete. I remember how I used to dread going home. Do you know what it's like to wake up every morning either angry or afraid?" 

"Yeah, Jim, I've had that experience occasionally," Blair whispered. 

Jim looked alarmed. "What do you mean?" 

"Just that growing up with Naomi was great most of the time, but there were also some pretty hairy moments and some pretty scary places for a kid." Blair squeezed his partner's hand. "I'll tell you about it sometime but not just now, okay?" 

Jim nodded, accepting that Blair would share his past with him when the time was right. Hopefully, the young man would share everything with him. "As the years passed, the fear faded and became almost exclusively anger. I've been angry with my father for so many years now I don't think I could stop even if I wanted to." 

Jim fell silent, lost in his memories. Blair sat beside him quietly for a few minutes, then spoke brightly. "Want to forget about this for awhile?" 

"God, yes," Jim said in relief. 

* * *

"Me too. Let's do something fun. There's a Jags game on, what do you say to some popcorn and a little yelling at the television screen in support of our guys?" 

"Sounds perfect, Chief," Jim pulled Blair back down as the young man tried to get up to get the popcorn started. "I do love you, Blair... so much," the older man stated sincerely. 

"I know you do, Jim. I love you, too. As soon as you're feeling a little better, I plan on showing you just how much." He smiled at the hungry look on Jim's face. 

"Now would be good," Jim purred. "My shoulder is feeling much better and it sounds a lot more 'fun' than the basketball game. What do you say?" Jim leaned forward and captured Blair's lips with his own. The young man parted his lips and the kiss deepened. At the first stroke of his tongue, it was all Jim could do to hang on to his control. His senses seemed to strain for release. He wanted to fully experience all his partner had to offer but held onto that little voice of reason inside him that told him to keep his senses turned down. The pain in his shoulder would overwhelm everything else if he let go. For this first time, he would experience everything as Blair did. In that, there was a certain satisfaction. Their tongues tangled together for some time, till finally, Blair pulled back. Jim reached for him again, leaning forward to recapture his lips but the young man resisted. Giving up, Jim sat back. 

"I think we need to talk before we go any further, Jim," Blair panted after he caught his breath. "I need to know if you've done this before?" 

"Yes," Jim said simply, and tried to grab him again. 

Dodging the hands, Blair laughed and continued. "I need a bit more information than that, Jim." 

Sighing, Jim gave up and settled for holding the hand that Blair offered. "I've bounced between men and women my whole life, Chief. This is not new to me though the last man I was with was several years ago." He took in the shocked look on his partner's face and added, "sorry to wreck your image of me, Chief." 

"No... no man... that's cool. I just never thought... never realised... shit, I can't believe I never knew. I'm usually damn good at picking up on things like that." 

"I've gotten very good at hiding it, Chief. I would have been surprised had you picked up on it. How about you?" 

"Jim, I've been bisexual since I was born I think." Blair leaned back against the couch, sitting side by side with Jim, staring at the far wall. "We are both less than perceptive." 

Jim nudged Blair with his shoulder. "So, now that we've gotten the fact that neither of us are virgins out of the way... want to make out?" 

Blair turned his face to the side and kissed his partner gently. Jim eagerly returned the brief caress of lips. "What about your shoulder?" Blair asked. 

"It's feeling better. I don't think I'm ready for anything too heavy but if I don't get to see all of you soon, I might explode." 

"Well now, we can't have that can we?" Blair said, while running his hand across Jim bare chest. 

The older man gasped at the light touch. "God, Blair. I think you're going to kill me." His partner grinned and stood. "Chief?" Jim asked, confused. 

"S'okay, Jim, I just want to shed some of my clothes." 

Jim swallowed roughly, his mouth suddenly dry as he watched his partner slowly unbutton his shirt. Blair was making a production out of undressing and the sentinel wasn't sure he would last long enough for the younger man to actually touch him. Finally seeing the body that he had longed for was almost enough on its own to push him over the edge. Bare-chested, Blair smiled and swiveled his hips a little as he shimmied out of his jeans, leaving him clad only in his boxer shorts. He stepped close to Jim, coming to a stop between the older man's legs. 

"Want to give me a hand here, Jim," Blair asked hotly. Jim licked his lips and nodded, his eyes fixed on the bulge just hidden by the light material. He reached out and hooked his fingers under the waistband of the boxers and gently eased them down his partner's firm hips. Jim felt his own cock straining for release as the final part of Blair's body was revealed to him. The young man's cock sprang free and bounced slightly, in front of Jim's face. He leaned forward and drew the boxer shorts down so that Blair could step out of them. After running his hands up the outside of Blair's legs, he left them planted on his slender hips. He felt his partner's hand on the back of his head as he pressed his cheek against the younger man's groin. The aroma of Blair, undiluted, was heady stuff. 

Inhaling deeply, he rubbed his face against the hard shaft of Blair's erection. The young man groaned deeply. Jim released his hips and brought his hands around to fondle the stiff organ. Blair thrust forward slightly as Jim's hand closed around him. Jim rubbed for a moment, lost in the soft silky feel of the flesh pulsing in his hand. Gripping the base firmly, he carefully took the cock head into his mouth. 

"Jim!" Blair cried out and thrust forward, driving more of his cock into the older man's mouth. Jim accepted it gratefully, and brought his other hand around to the young man's buttock, running his fingers down the crease between them. His guide was moaning continuously now and Jim looked up and saw that he had his head thrown back and his eyes clenched tightly shut. He brought his hand back around and released Blair long enough to suck his own fingers, making sure they were well covered with spit and precum. Blair opened his eyes and looked down at him. 

"Oh God, Jim." He moaned at the sight of the older man moving his own fingers in and out of his mouth. He grabbed the hand and brought it up to his own mouth, sucking the fingers in deeply. Tasting himself, and Jim on them. 

Jim pulled his fingers free after a few moments and sucked Blair's erection back into his mouth. He could almost make his way down to the base of the erection. He pulled back and pushed forward, gratified to feel the hard cock head touch the back of, then pass into his throat and he felt the wiry curls of Blair's pubic hair touch his cheek. Blair screamed out as he was fully engulfing and began moving his hips faster. Jim held his face still and let the young man fuck in and out of his throat as he quickly gathered speed. 

Reaching around him again, he probed the opening to Blair's body. The young man grunted as he inserted one finger into his anus. He began moving his hips faster and Jim pumped his finger in and out of the tight opening in rhythm with his thrusts. Soon the opening loosened enough to add two fingers. Jim felt Blair's anus clenching tightly around his digits and couldn't wait for the time when it could be his cock instead, his cock pressing in and out of Blair's warm willing body. The young man thrust hard into his throat and he felt semen spurting into him. The feeling was too much and Jim exploded as well. 

Blair pulled out of his mouth and he gasped, drawing in much needed air as his own body spasmed. Jim reluctantly withdrew his fingers from his partner's body and the young man sank to his knees and pressed his sweaty face to Jim's chest. The sentinel curled his fingers into his partner's hair and gasped, waiting for them both to calm down. Finally, Blair pulled back and looked up at him smiling. 

"You okay? I didn't mean to get so rough there at the end, but you drive me crazy." 

"I'm..." Jim cleared his voice and started again. "I'm fine, Chief... how about we take this party upstairs?" 

Blair nodded and helped Jim to his feet. He couldn't help but notice the soggy black boxers. "Maybe you should make a stop at the bathroom to clean up first, big guy?" Blair grinned. 

"Pretty pleased with yourself, aren't you?" Jim blushed and smiled. 

"Well... yeah." Blair admitted with a big grin. "I guess you really are hot for me?" He gestured toward the evidence of Jim's obvious orgasm, without even a touch. 

"No shit, Sherlock," Jim said good-naturedly. 

"That is so cool," Blair enthused. 

Jim grimaced and moved to the bathroom. "Don't let it go to your head, Sandburg... I'm not always so easy." 

"How about you get cleaned up and come upstairs, and we'll find out just how easy you are?" Blair grinned and leaving Jim to his clean up, bounded up the stairs. 

"He really is going to kill me," Jim said to himself as he felt his cock twitch in anticipation. Hurrying to the bathroom, he washed up then headed quickly upstairs to his waiting lover, eager to keep the problems of the world pushed aside for a few more stolen hours. 

* * *

The funeral the next day was just as bad as Blair feared it would be. The Ellison's sat together, Blair seated between Jim and his father with Steven sitting on William's other side. Each man, save Blair, bore an almost identical expression-- pale and unreadable. A couple passed by, obviously grieving for Sally and threw them an angry glance. This was not the first hostile gaze they encountered since entering the church. They were the first though to comment just loud enough to ensure they were overheard. 

"Look at them. Sally gave her entire life to that family and they don't even look upset. They couldn't care less that she's dead." 

Blair glanced at his partner in time to see Jim's jaw clench even more tightly. Putting a hand on his leg he whispered to the other man, "Ignore them. Just because you don't wear your grief on your sleeve it doesn't mean you don't care. They're narrow minded fools, Jim." 

The bigger man relaxed a bit and covered Blair's hand with his own. The young man glanced to his other side, but William gave no indication that he had heard the comment. The funeral was thankfully brief. Afterwards, an elderly woman approached them before they could leave the burial site. William stepped forward and took her hand. 

"Mrs. Choi, I'm so sorry," he said solemnly. "I've meant to come by but we just got so tied up with catching the man who did this." 

"Did you catch him, William?" 

"Yes, but I'm sorry that it wasn't in time to help Sally." 

Sally's mother was a small woman, but she commanded attention. She gave the impression that no matter what was happening it was she who was in control. She looked past William to Jim, Steven and Blair. "You boys must be Jim and Steven," she said to the Ellison brothers. "I'm Sally's mother. She loved you boys very much you know?" 

Jim stepped forward. "I loved her too, Mrs. Choi. I'm so sorry that this happened." 

She patted Jim's hand. "I know you are, son. Sally made her own choices. She was right where she wanted to be. I know some do, but I don't blame any of you for what happened. I just wanted you to know that, and to know Sally loved each of you." She looked pointedly at William, who flinched under her gaze. They watched her go, standing quietly, each immersed in their own thoughts. 

After a few minutes, the men parted. Jim and Blair agreeing to meet Mr. Ellison at his home, Steven heading back to work. 

* * *

Jim and Blair sat in the driveway for a time, the sentinel staring at the house he had left so abruptly many years before. The place still held memories, and he had to admit that some of them were even good ones. Funny how all the bad stuff seemed to be right there taunting him, yet he had to search to remember the good. 

"We going in?" Blair asked finally. 

"I guess we'd better," Jim responded absently, his stomach tied in knots. 

William opened the door for them before they reached the steps and soon they were all seated in the living room--the quiet was deafening. 

"So," William began, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "How is your shoulder?" 

"Fine, dad. Did you have any trouble with the FBI?" Jim asked, forcing himself to be pleasant. 

The older man shook his head. "No." 

Quiet fell over the room once again. Jim could feel his partner vibrating next to him and could picture him barely stopping himself from breaking the silence. The young man didn't though, and the older man knew he would let him work this out on his own. Unable to bear it anymore, Jim finally cracked and spoke. 

"Dad..." 

"Jim..." 

Both men smiled in spite of themselves as they spoke at exactly the same moment. Jim frowned soon after, wondering if it meant that he was like his dad. He gestured for William to go first. 

"Listen, Jimmy, I've discovered something in the last few days." He spoke directly to Jim, ignoring Blair completely. "Did you ever wonder why Sally stayed with me all these years... even after you boys grew up and left?" 

Jim shrugged. "Not really, Sally and I kept in touch over the years." 

His father looked shocked. "You did? She never said anything." 

"I asked her not to, dad." At the hurt expression on his father's face, Jim continued. "Come on, dad, what did you expect? We never did get along. You always seemed to be barely able to tolerate my presence in your house." 

"That's not true, Jim," William denied vehemently. 

"It _is_ true, Dad. You may not want to face it but from where I'm sitting, I think Andrews called it right on the nose." The murderer's words still lingered in his mind. He was incidental in his father's life, second to Steven--a throw-away. He was never quite what his father wanted. His father had once called him a freak and Jim was never able to shake the feeling that in his old man's eyes, that was exactly what he was. 

"God, Jimmy, is that what you really think?" 

Jim didn't understand the look on his old man's face. It was as if he had physically hurt the other man. 

"How could I think otherwise? In your eyes I'm a failure. What am I? A forty year old gay man who's still a detective... and what did you call me? Oh yeah, a freak because of my senses." Jim was getting angry. He stood as if to leave but stopped as he felt Blair's hand holding him in place. 

"You're gay?" William said, mouth open in astonishment. 

"Fuck! This is never going to work. Why don't we just go our separate ways? It will be easier on everyone concerned that way." He pulled Blair to his feet. 

"Jim..." the younger man said. "Maybe we should..." 

"No," Jim interrupted. "I know you want me to make this work, Chief, but he's never going to accept me as I am and I'm too fucking old to wait around hoping that some day he'll come around." 

"No," William said firmly, putting his hand on his son's arm. Jim turned to him, ready for a fight. William stood his ground. "Please, Jimmy, just hear me out, then if you want to go I won't try to stop you." 

Jim shrugged off the hand but sat back down, ignoring Blair's sigh of relief. He would let the old man have his say, it wasn't going to change anything but for Blair, he would listen. 

William cleared his throat and continued. "Sally's sister came to visit a few weeks back. I hadn't met her before, she was living in Canada. The first time we were alone she told me... told me that Sally loved me... had loved me for years. She said that she was tired of her sister's unhappiness and that I should encourage her to move on if I didn't love her back. I was stunned, Jim. As soon as she said it, I knew it was true. I just didn't want to admit it because if I did I'd have to admit just how badly I'd taken advantage of her all those years. I'd never thought of Sally like that. She was our housekeeper." William said the word as if that explained everything. "The more I thought about it the more I convinced myself that it wasn't true, Sally was the hired help, nothing more. So I decided to ignore it. In a day I convinced myself that she was wrong, that Sally didn't love me anymore than I loved her." 

Jim nodded, his anger cooling as his father talked. He knew Sally adored his father. She confessed as much to him in her letters. 

William continued his voice growing heavy with grief. "When she was... murdered... I realized something. I realized that I could have loved her. I could have loved her if I'd let myself. Hell, I did love her in my own way but because of my inability to see past the stereotypes, we lost our chance." 

He looked over at Jim, meeting his eyes without flinching. "I don't want to do that with you, Jim. I want to know you for who you are, not who I expected you to be. I know I've done things in the past... unforgivable things... but I want a chance here. I'd like a chance to make it up to you." 

Jim shrugged his shoulders. If only it were that simple to move on... to let the past go. "I don't know what you want me to say here, dad," he finally responded. "It's all just talk. Once the shock of Sally's death wears off you'll go right back to despising me for being different." 

"I never despised you, Jim. Never. I've always loved you, I just never knew how to show it. I still don't... even saying the word is hard." 

Jim shifted uncomfortably and grasped Blair's hand in his own, thankful that the young man was with him. "Do you remember the day mom left?" 

"Of course I do," William said, his face closing off. 

"Do you really remember what you said to me that day?" Jim asked, wanting it out in the open finally, wanting an explanation. 

* * *

"Yes," William whispered. "Yes, I remember." 

Jim stared at him in disbelief. "That's all. You have nothing else to say?" 

"What do you want me to say, Jimmy? That I was a son of a bitch? That I wish I could take back that day and so many others like it and do them over again? Well I am and I do. What does that get us? Nothing. I was devastated when your mother left and I took it out on you because you looked so much like her." William looked close to tears. "I thought that it was alright, Jim. I swear I did. The next day we all went to the ball game, do you remember that? I thought that you forgave me." 

"Forgave you? I thought the ball game was my reward for 'acting like a man' and not mentioning my mother like you ordered. Did you really think I enjoyed that game?" 

"God, Jimmy. I don't know what to say. I thought that was behind us long ago. Why didn't you ever tell me how you felt?" 

"Tell you how I felt? You must be joking. When you were at home... which was not a regular occurrence, it was all I could do to attempt to live up to your standards. God help me if I ever disappointed you or disagreed with you." 

"I know I made some mistakes, Jim. I'm the first to admit it. I wish I could go back and fix it but I can't. Do you think you can give me a chance to show you I've changed?" 

"I don't know, dad, honestly. I see you now and I want to tell you that it's no big deal. I guess part of me still wants your approval. But I can't do that, it is a big deal. All I can tell you is that I'll think about it. Is that enough?" 

William smiled a bit, though he looked very shaky. "It's enough for now, Jim. I want you to know that this time I'm not going to back down. I'll keep trying until you tell me to stop." 

Jim stood, he couldn't deal with any more. He already felt like he'd been pulled in a hundred different directions. "Okay, dad. I'm sorry, I think I'd better go now. You with me, Chief?" 

Blair nodded and stood up beside him, distracting Jim's attention. He didn't have time to back away before his father wrapped his arms around him and hugged him. The sentinel patted the older man's back awkwardly, catching Blair's grin before the younger man turned away to hide it. 

William stepped back, embarrassed by his own actions. "Okay then, I'll see you... the two of you," he said including Blair, "...later." 

Jim turned back to his dad before he left the house. "I'm glad you're okay, dad, and I'm sorry about Sally. Will you be alright alone here?." 

"I'll be okay, Jimmy. I guess I've got to get used to it." He surveyed the still household. 

Not knowing what to say, Jim just nodded and followed his partner to the truck. 

* * *

The drive was surprisingly quiet. Blair seemed to understand Jim's need to think about what his father had said. The young man always seemed to know what the sentinel needed. Right now he needed to process and try to come to terms with the fact that he wanted a relationship with his father. He wanted that part of his life back. He just didn't know how to go about forgiving. What he did know was that without Blair, he would never even have come this far. He smiled at the younger man and was rewarded with a huge grin. By unspoken agreement, they decided to let all the problems lie for the time being. Holding hands they drove the rest of the way back home. 

* * *

Once back at the loft, Jim and Blair prepared dinner and, sitting side by side, had a quiet meal. The sentinel could feel the stress of the day slipping away from him. Somehow, everything always seemed better at night, here in their home, with Blair at his side. He sighed and took their dishes to the sink before returning and holding out his hand to his partner. Blair took it willingly and smiled up at the bigger man. 

"Feel better, Jim?" 

"Much better, Chief. Know what would make me feel even better?" he asked with a smirk. 

"Yeah, I think I can guess," Blair laughed as he allowed his partner to pull him to his feet and toward the stairs. "You know, you are developing a one track mind, partner. I'm thinking that you may need professional help." 

"You think so?" Jim murmured. 

"Yeah, I think so," Blair smiled as they reached the top of the stairs and Jim began undressing. Soon, the sentinel stood naked beside the bed, grinning. Blair admired the strong form of his lover, content just to look and let himself be slowly aroused. This laid back approach lasted till Jim ran one hand down his strong chest and gripped himself tightly. The young man almost moaned aloud as he watched his partner stroke his already hard cock--keeping his eyes on Blair the entire time. 

"Fuck this," Blair said and launched himself at the older man. Jim let out a loud grunt as he landed on the bed with 160 pounds of aroused guide on his chest. "Dr. Sandburg here-- ready, willing and _definitely_ able to help you with that one track mind of yours." Jim laughed and flipped them so that Blair was on the bottom, then sat back so that he straddled the smaller man. His shoulder ached with the action but he ignored the twinge. 

"Masquerading as a doctor is a serious offense, Sandburg." Jim grinned evilly, holding his partner's wrists above his head. 

Blair smiled, it seemed like forever since Jim just played around. God, being silly again felt great. 

"Do you know what the punishment is for impersonating a doctor?" 

"A good sound fucking?" Blair asked hopefully. 

"It..." Jim blinked as his partner's words registered, then started again. "It is punishable by jail time I'm afraid, Sandburg. But maybe we can work out a little deal here?" 

"You, super-cop James Ellison, suggesting that I attempt to bribe an officer of the law? I'm shocked." Blair said in a perfectly good imitation of outrage. 

"Time is running out, Sandburg. What'll it be? Care to make me an offer?" Jim ground his erection against his partner's Jean-covered groin for emphasis. 

Blair pushed up, trying to prolong the contact as his own cock became painfully hard. "How about I offer you a good sound fucking?" Blair whispered. 

Jim went still, then rolled, ending with Blair on the top once more. "It's a deal, Chief," he said, releasing the young man's wrists and moving his hands to the front of Blair's shirt. 

"No, let me," Blair said, straddling Jim's naked thighs in an imitation of his partner's earlier movements. Eyes roving the hard body beneath him, Blair slowly undressed. His ass rubbed against Jim's groin as he removed each piece of clothing. Soon the last piece hit the floor and Blair sat back, Jim's cock nestled between his buttocks. The older man groaned when he began rocking slightly. 

"Blair, stop... or it will be all over," Jim begged. 

Smiling, he stopped the motion and bent forward, careful not to touch Jim's wounded shoulder while pressing against Jim's smooth hairless chest so that he could capture the older man's lips. He caressed his partner's tongue with his own for a few minutes, allowing each of them time to cool down. Folding his arms so that he could prop himself up on top of Jim's chest, Blair pulled back a few inches. He could still feel the other man's breath on his face. 

"Are you sure you want to do this, Jim? Will your shoulder be okay," he asked, all play gone from his voice. 

"I'm sure, Chief. I love you... I trust you." 

Blair leaned forward again and kissed the other man, lightly at first. Soon, the kiss deepened and he started to explore the body he had begun to get to know the previous night. He released Jim's lips, ignoring the sound of distress from the older man and used his tongue and lips to lave his way down to an erect nipple, careful not to put pressure on his partner's healing shoulder. This part of his partner, he had gotten to know well last night. The nipple was still slightly swollen from their lovemaking. Jim hissed at a single touch of his tongue. 

Blair left the oversensitive nub, after a few passes of his tongue, not wanting Jim's pleasure to become pain. He had other areas to explore tonight. Jim drew in a sharp breath as Blair's hands and mouth found his erection. It had been quite a while since the younger man had done this particular act and he never remembered liking it. It was always something that he did for his partners, never for his own enjoyment. With Jim it was different. He was overwhelmed by the taste of his friend. The thought that he was being allowed to take Jim in such an intimate manner was almost enough to make him come. 

Gripping the base of his partner's erection, he took more of Jim into his mouth. The older man's hips twitched unconsciously and Blair knew that Jim was struggling to keep still, not wanting to hurt him. First thing the sentinel needed to learn was that he could let go with him. No time like the present. Blair set a rhythm, moving his mouth up and down his partner's leaking cock, in counter-rhythm to his hand at it's base. Soon, Blair was rewarded with a bigger twitch in Jim's hips, then the older man lost his tight control and began thrusting his hips up, trying to drive more of his aching cock into Blair's mouth. Blair controlled the movement with his hands, ensuring that Jim could only move with him not against him. 

"Chief," Jim cried out as he exploded into the younger man's mouth. Blair continued to suckle his partner until the sentinel relaxed back into the bed, utterly spent, breathing hard. 

"Turn over, Jim," Blair asked, his hand reaching underneath the bigger man to help him turn. Jim eagerly complied, putting his good arm around a pillow so that he could take some of the weight off his shoulder. The younger man leaned back and pulled open the nightstand, easily finding what they needed. He looked at the condom indecisively. Jim turned his head. 

"Throw it away, Chief," he growled. "I want to feel you... just you. Please?" 

"Are you sure, Jim? I'm clean, by the way." 

Jim shrugged his shoulder. "Would you think I'd lost my mind if I said that didn't matter to me?" 

"Jim!" Blair exclaimed in shock. "Please tell me you've been careful?" 

"Relax, partner. I've never had sex with anyone without a condom. I'm clean, too. I've just never known that it was for keeps before. I meant what I said, Blair. I love you. My love life begins and ends with you. Throw away the condom, we don't need it between us." Jim put his head down on the pillow, face still turned sideways to watch his partner, and rubbed the younger man's leg lightly. "But only if you want to. I'll be happy to use a condom if that's what you want." 

Blair looked into his partner's unnaturally timid eyes and then tossed the condom over his shoulder with a huge smile. The answering grin on Jim's face was worth anything but truth be told, Blair was more than happy to chuck caution to the wind. Jim was his and he was never going to let him go. He leaned over and kissed his partner, passion growing between them. The older man spread his legs wide and Blair took the invitation, settling on his knees between them. He touched the crease between Jim's buttocks reverently. The sentinel moaned and moved his legs even further apart. Blair smiled at the reaction to such a light touch and pressed more firmly, his finger sinking into the cleft between Jim's buttocks, passing over his anus. The older man shivered and pushed back. 

"Come on, Blair! Are you trying to drive me crazy? Let's go already," Jim cried out impatiently. 

"Patience, big man," Blair purred, repeating the touch, then leaning forward to rub his rough cheek against one firm ass cheek. 

"God, Blair. That feels incredible," Jim moaned. 

Blair spent several minutes touching and stroking his partner, but not penetrating him. The older man was humping against the bed by the time that Blair finally pressed a single lube-slicked finger past the tight entrance to Jim's body. The sentinel groaned in pleasure. Blair moved the finger in and out, loosening up the passage enough to admit another finger. Jim shifted and grunted at the intrusion. 

"Okay, love?" Blair asked, holding his fingers still in the incredibly tight channel. 

"Yeah," Jim sighed. "It's just been a long time. Get on with it." 

Blair smiled at his partner's impatience and began moving his fingers again, caressing and stretching the passage. His own cock felt like it would explode at any moment. He sped up his actions, as he felt walls loosen a bit. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Jim was ready to take his width. He gripped Jim's buttocks and spread them apart, revealing the loosened bud to his eyes and pressed the head of his cock against his partner's anus but didn't thrust forward. 

"Stay still, Jim," Blair ordered. The older man was moving his hips against the bed, rubbing his erection on the sheets beneath him. He was afraid if he pushed forward with his partner moving, he might hurt him. He waited, gritting his teeth against the urge to thrust into that warm welcoming passage. 

Gradually, Jim slowed his movements as he realized they were going no further until he was still. "Blair," the older man begged as he stopped moving. 

Blair could feel his partner's buttocks quivering under his hands. He felt sorry for the effort it must have taken Jim to hold himself still and rewarded the effort by pushing forward. He gasped as he was enveloped into his sentinel's tight passage. 

"Just... till... I'm... in... Jim..." he ground out. Finally, his groin came to rest against Jim's buttocks. He was overwhelmed by the fact that he was fully inside his partner. He gave Jim a chance to get used to him only beginning to move as he felt the older man push back against him. The rhythm started out slow, building in tempo. Jim once again began twisting and rubbing his erection against the bed as Blair thrust into him with ever increasing power. Bracing himself with his arms on either side of Jim's body, Blair leaned over the older man, pushing into him harder and faster. Jim grunted with each push of his cock and Blair found the sounds an incredible turn on. 

"Louder, Jim, let me hear how much you love me inside you... fucking you," Blair ordered. The older man's body shook and he cried out Blair's name. The younger man thrust in the same spot and was rewarded with another cry of joy from his partner, hitting what could only be Jim's prostate. Blair ground his hips against Jim's buttocks, trying to force even more of himself inside his lover, wanting to reach a place inside Jim that no one had ever touched. He leaned over and nuzzled the back of the sentinel's neck, then without warning bit him on his uninjured shoulder. Jim's body spasmed and he cried out loudly as his second orgasm of the night overtook him. 

Blair thrust one last time, deep into the body of his lover then came as well, releasing his seed into the older man. He slumped forward onto Jim's back, bringing his arms around him to hold on tight, his body still jerking as the last of his come was forced into his partner's anus. He lay there, caressing Jim's face with his hand until he calmed enough to speak. 

"I don't want to pull out," Blair whispered. He wished he could stay a part of Jim forever... connected like this he felt closer to the other man than ever before. 

"I don't want you too either. Stay in me as long as you can," Jim said in a slurred voice. 

They stayed connected for a long time, neither willing to end it. Finally, they fell asleep and when Blair awoke he had slipped free of his partner. He sighed with regret and rolled to the side, coaxing Jim onto his back so that he could cuddle close to him. 

* * *

Blair raised his head from Jim's chest a while later to find the older man awake and staring at the ceiling, brow creased in thought. 

"You okay, Jim?" he asked softly. 

Jim bent his head and kissed Blair on the forehead. "Yeah, Chief. I was just thinking about my father." 

"And?" 

"I think I'll give him a call next week. Maybe we could get together for a little chess. I used to like to play chess with him." Jim smiled a little at the memory of the first time he beat his father. His old man was never one to let his sons win at anything. Whenever they won they were sure that it was from their own expertise. It was one of the few times that Jim could remember his father truly seeming proud of him. "Yeah, maybe I will." 

"You should, Jim. Just feel it out. If it doesn't work out...then it doesn't work out. No pressure." 

"Yeah, Chief." He paused for a moment then added, "thanks." 

"For what?" Blair asked smiling. 

"Being here, loving me, screwing my brains out, your good advice, for just making everything seem easier... better-- thank you." He punctuated the remark with a soft kiss on Blair's lips. 

Blair smiled warmly. "You're welcome then but you don't need to thank me... I love you. Whatever you need, Jim... I mean that." 

Jim looked down into the serious expression of his guide and knew it was the truth. Blair would always be there for him. He smiled and held the younger man tighter, content that whatever happened between him and his family, he would be fine and Blair would be at his side. 

The end 

* * *

End Sacrifice to a Greater Cause.


End file.
